Child moving in with mother

lorupAugust 31, 2005

Here is my story,

My son came to live with me 8 years ago with the agreement of his mother. We have been divorced 12 years and live in different states about a 5 hour drive. Last year he told he that when he was visiting his family there that they were trying to get him to move back because they never see him. I wish to state that I have never stopped him from see any of them. I even drive half way up to meet them when they want to pick him up.

Then last fall I had a change in my job and would be gone for several months and then return but only be home Friday to Sunday. I also got married just before all of this happened. During the winter while I was away my son called his mother and begged her to come and get him (I only found this out much later) she said she would not until we all talked. Within the last few weeks my son was talking to his family up there and suddenly decided he wanted to live with his mother again. My first reaction was anger I could not understand why he would want to leave, I give him also everything he wants and needs and try to stay out of his business too much. I know that my job situation has been very depressing on everyone and tempers get short, mine probably the worst. I've been looking for a job near home but have had no response from the places I've applied.

It's like getting divorced all over again, What should I do??

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If you can't find a job nearby, maybe you should let your son spend some time with his mother. Especially if you are gone all week. Since he's been living with you for the past 8 years, I'm sure his mother misses him and would love to spend some time with him as well. Plus, it's not like you can't have him visit, maybe even every other weekend. He's probably a bit put off by you remarrying, even if he says he's not. He may just be craving time with his real mom. How old is he anyways? If he is a teenager, they tend to change their minds quite often! Maybe you could set something up where he spends this school year there, and then comes back to your house next summer. By then you may have found a more suitable job that would give you more time. As long as his mother is responsible, caring, and can support him, I would let him try it out. You never know, it may not be everything he thinks it's going to be, and will want to come back...Good Luck!

    Bookmark   September 1, 2005 at 9:51AM
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