For those whose adult children are estranged....
For those whose adult children are estranged, are you able to identify when you began to get a glimpse that something was wrong, and what you would do differently today if you got a "do over" in parenting? If you were writing a book about estrangement from adult children, to teach the parents coming up behind you with younger kids, can you help us to understand what you can, and in essence, what you believe you did right, and what you would do differently if you had it to do over again? There have been so many parents responding to the previous posts, that perhaps a pattern will emerge that we can all learn from. For example, was too much done for the child, that they somehow now only care about themselves? Were some parents too busy with their careers and life that the bond did not form? Did you not hold them accountable for their behavior, and let too much slide, or did you punish too often, or too harshly?
There is no blame here. There are way too many complicated facets to all close relationships that play into all of this, so it is simply what you are able to identify when things started to change.
If you are able to stand outside of the picture looking in, what would your adult child say as to why they behave this way, and why they are choosing to live estranged from their family? What would be their side in all of this?
Were drugs or a relationship with someone you do not think is healthy for them at the bottom of all of this? Were you trying to control them somehow? Did you draw a line in the sand, and if so, do you regret it now? Would you do it again and why?
The point of this is so that you are able to stand back, and look at this, and perhaps teach those coming up behind you with younger kids.