Son's inability to deal with financial things
I'm so frustrated.
My son will be a junior in college this Fall. For the past 2 years I have tried and tried and tried to get him to be more financially responsible. For the first 2 years in college, I kept telling him to get a job, but he was too busy with classes.
He used to have a VISA card, a checking and a savings account. But in the past year, he overdrew about 5 times, costing over $200 in overdraft fees.
I took away his VISA, and eventually moved his savings money into his checking, since he had trouble understanding checking versus savings. I thought just having 1 account would help. He is very bright, and is essentially a creative genius. But he just can't seem to grasp the simpler things.
I once again have been taking his summer pay and keeping it in my savings, so he won't spend it and will have it for the next school year's spending money.
He went on a little trip with friends this weekend, and had a certain amount of money to spend, and overspent on his debit card, which will mean another overdrawn fee of $40+.
I'm realizing that I'm moving from "helping" to "enabling" by some of the things I'm doing to "help".
But......the big problem is this: I would LOVE to say "Okay......your finances are YOURS. Deal with it. I will not help you anymore."
But it seems to end up causing more problems for me than for him when he runs out of money. There were times when he couldn't pay his rent, or he might have his grades withheld because of a bill at school. I just can't let him get kicked out of his apartment or school.
Are there counselors of some sort who we could all go to and they could help us with this financial thing? DH doesn't take the authoritative role that he should and dealing with my son's problem is mostly left up to me.
I'm ready to pull my hair out.
Of course none of us likes to see their children struggle and fail. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses for my son, but I think he has something like ADD and some things are soooooo hard for him.
One thought I had was insisting that he use cash for everything, instead of a debit card. But that presents its own problems.
Sorry for rambling. I'm just really, really frustrated.