Sick to my stomach

satine_gwJuly 21, 2009

I have a 20 year old daughter who has had some problems in the past years. Her dad died when she was 12 and she has been in and out of trouble in school, with friends etc (nothing illegal). She finally at the age of 17 or so told me she needed help and wanted to see a social worker/psychologist. She had been in and out of counseling since her Dad died but never seemed to helped much. I found her a counselor she connected with and she worked with her from quite a long time. Things have been much improved-she works 25 hours a week and goes to the community college full time. She has a boyfriend who I like and is a hard worker-from a good family. I finally decided I needed to clear out my husbands study and in the process realized that a box of gold coins is missing. I approached her about it and she swears she didn't take it. I just don't know what to do. We are the only two who live in the house although of course there are times when others are there. I believe it was about 2-3 months ago that I saw the box and looked at the coins. I feel hollow and sick. What can I do? I don't have an identification of the coins-I would need that to file a police report. I am just so upset. Any suggestions or just some kind words would be appreciated. Satine

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Maybe your daughter is telling you the truth, and maybe she isn't. It is very possible it was a friend of hers too. That happened to my sister-in-law. She had to lock her bedroom door when she wasn't at home in case her daughters had friends over.

I wouldn't go accusing your daughter though cuz, if she really didn't take it, it will cause major problems in your relationship. If she did take it, chalk it up to a loss. There's nothing you can really do about it. You can continue to have a good relationship with your daughter, but lock up any valuables that you have...just in case.

    Bookmark   July 21, 2009 at 11:00PM
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Never accuse anyone without proof, simply because you 'think' they may have done something. Years ago, I was missing money after a family party. I kept that to myself, because the only one I could think of doing such a thing was my 8 year old nephew--not because he was untrustworthy, but simply because he was the only child at the party, and I couldn't imagine adults doing something like that. Well, fast foward about 25 years--one of the other guests was proven to have stolen a quarter of a million $$$ from a disabled relative. I still don't know who took my money, but it's obvious that there was more than one possible suspect.

Look, in the past few months, anything could have happened to those coins. Maybe you put them away someplace 'safe' and forgot about it--I've done things like that. Maybe a guest in your home took them. Or possibly you had someone in doing work (electrician/plumber/rug shampooer/chimney sweep). If your home is anything like mine, I don't know how you could assume that one person was the likely culprit--so many people come in and out of a person's home in a few months.

Surely you have some record of the coins--I collect them, and keep a detailed log of what I have, when/where I bought it and for how much. You have to, to be able to have the proper documentation. Your husband almost certainly has those records someplace. I'd take a look around to see if you can find them.

Lastly, I'd strongly recommend that if you have any other valuable items, take pictures of them for a record (and store the pictures away from the items themselves), and please, get yourself a safe and have it properly installed. With coins, you really do have to be so careful, because they're small, easy to hide/transport, hard to trace and easy to sell.

Even so, I'd call the police and make a report. They will understand that if this was your husband's collection you may not have so many details--but you still need to report it, and who knows, something may just turn up. Sorry about yoru loss, good luck with working through the aftermath.

    Bookmark   July 23, 2009 at 11:16PM
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