10 year old kissing, what do i do??
Hi, am so happy to have found this forum. One evening, we were visiting some other parents from my 10yr old daughter's school. The next day, my dd told me that their son, who is in her class, and her very close friend, kissed her. I asked her what she did, and she said "i kissed him back" but then I said, that can't happen again, we are too young for this, I reiterated to her that it was inappropriate at that age, and went over some rules that she and i talked about before. I didn't want to get upset, or make too big a deal, for fear of her not telling me anything again,and seeing me as the "parental enemy". Like most ten yr olds, she has many play dates, mostly with girls. Our families have kinda bonded,and so if they ask to have a play date, I usually comply. Most of the play dates are me taking them to the movies, etc... however, the other day, i picked him up, usual play date, brought him over to our house, to eat lunch, and wait for the movie time at the theatre. while here, they asked if thy could watch tv. i said ok, and my 4yr old was in the room with them.. i was making burgers... and when i came upstairs, i noticed the door closed. Even though my 4 yr old was inside, i called her, and i said to her privately "these are my rules.. if you have a playdate over, boy or girl, the door stays open, wide open" she said "okay mom" and went back in-door stayed open. All went well, we went to the movies, and i invited another parent and her dd.. so it wasn't like a "date" just 3 kids at the movies..
today, i am mortified to find out that over the w/e, as she spent time with her aunt, she told her tht he kissed her again... in her room on friday!!!!! when did that happen? i thought i was supervising them like a hawk!! What should i do now? his parents did not know about the first kiss, and i promised my dd that i would not mention it to them. I let it go then, but i can't let it go now! Should i tell his parents? Have a talk with him privately? Have a talk with them together? what should i do about this? I must approach it very gingerly, because her aunt doesnt want me to spill that she told me. Also, she has a good friendship with the boy. they talk on the phone every day, and she helps him with his schoolwork, bc she is very bright. Should i punish her? Not let her have anymore play dates with him? I am finding out too that at sch. it is "known" that they are bf/gf. and another little girl (who is very "out there" socially) started rumors to the other kids that they had sex!!! this i am hearing from her aunt,-which my dd told her! It is a serious issue, and i am furious, but i can't let her know. My dd is very innocent, and gullible, and i think the kids in her new school are out of her league socially, and to gain acceptance she is doing this. When we first started, she told me other girls said they had a bf. I think my dd is trying to fit in, by kissing and telling, to gain their acceptance, and be popular. What should i do??? Moms of preteens, or teens, or have been through this, please help! L