Estrangement from special Ed Adult Son
I have no idea where to turn for help with this situation...I will explain. My son just turned 19, he is Aspergers (High-functioning Autism) and can pass as you or I if not questioned too long due to the training he received when he was younger with social stories and my continuous work with him. However, for the most part, Asperger children are about 2/3rds the age they really are. Which makes him 13yrs old. A 13yr old with adult raging hormones...
He met a woman on XBox Live and starting conversing with her in Oct 2011. She was out of state and 40yrs old with two boys older than him. He changed drastically during this time and kept this 'relationship' secret. She broke up with a guy in Iowa and moved here to find and be with someone in his teenage group, homeless, on Social Security and no job or one in mind. She had been communicating with his friends from age 14-19 also and, I have been told by them, hit on many of them and took their money, too. When she moved here, he started staying out at night, sometimes all night, stopped doing chores he had at the house, stopped job-hunting. He asked if she could move in and the answer was 'no.' He kept asking, and kept getting 'no'.I found her a shelter which she would not stay at because she had to be in too early at night. She started sneeking in his window and was living in his closet for two weeks before I found out (I work fulltime)! Brazenly taking showers at my house and eating our food. My elderly dad lives with me and she would do this with him there, just not get caught. Shortly after getting caught, he was visiting her at a Travelog and I blewup!...police were called. He moved in with her before Xmas...he had no job, nor did she. My ex decided to 'help' him out and pay for an apartment rather than talk sense into him! Now my son thinks his childhood was all lies by me and my ex has been hiding my son and neither he nor my son will speak to me! after 5 months and being told I am no longer his Mom, I went to see my son and he and she, again, called the police! We were just talking thru his door which he wouldn't open! This woman was telling him what to say the whole time! She has isolated him from his entire friend base and family...he will not talk with or see anyone and my ex is supporting this behaviour!! Oh, did I mention I have NEVER MET HER!!
I am a wreck! It has been suggested that I call Adult Protective Services by professionals I have consulted. I am afraid for him as he is not thinking as an adult, still has no job, his Dad is not communicating with me to let me know if he is even alive. I encouraged my son to always see his Dad when being raised, which he did. How do I make this woman stop the abuse of my son!
Any suggestions would be welcomed.