What is your summer visitation period? (divorce/custody)

rob333May 4, 2009

We don't have our parenting plan finished, yet, I have to register for summer camp... and I need to offer a timeframe to him that is reasonable. I am the custodial parent and he lives nearby, so it's not a long drawn out process getting there/coming home, and he sees him every week already.

If you can tell me what you have (there is no set answer here, typically 2-6 weeks), and maybe why longer or shortert is better, it'd help. Right now it's a needle in a haystack.

-Robin

P.S. Yes, I have an attorney, but he'll suggest that he and I try to solve it between us, and is good advice.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mariealways

Typically for parents that live close to each other, it is usually 3-4 weeks. Whether longer or shorter is better depends on a lot of factors. How old is the child/ren? What will your child/ren be doing when with dad during the summer? What is dad's work schedule like? Does the child/ren have special needs? etc.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2009 at 2:11PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
finedreams

we lived far apart most of the time so situation doesn't really apply. DD spent the entire summer break at her father (I was CP). he would take vacation to travel with her but the remaining time he would sign her up for activities while he was at work.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2009 at 8:51PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
silversword

Hi! nice to see you again...

My dd has the entire summer with her father. He organizes any activities she has while with him, and they "vacation" for a portion of it. But he is thousands of miles away. I give him the entire summer because I have her the school year. It just seems fair to me. Also, any holidays he is able to get her she can go there, regardless of visitation schedule (which I think is in the divorce documents as being every year we switch off... mothers/fathers/halloween/easter/xmas/hannukah...etc.)

How much time does his father want? (you do have a son, right? Around 9yrs old?)

~Silver

    Bookmark   May 4, 2009 at 10:49PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
rob333

Thanks all! It would make sense for a long period of time if he wasn't with him during the week, or lived far away. That makes sense. It would make sense for him to stay for a long period of time if they were going on vacation, but honestly, he can't afford it (him, the woman (whose pay is likely about $8-10/hr), and three other kids, two of which are teens), so the boy would be there, couped up in the house while they play video games. It's what they do now. I think I have my answer, very limited time. I say 2 weeks is plenty this year. I am also trying to think ahead to other years. Maybe he'll get a different job or be able to go on vacation later??? I am also trying to look for the big picture here.

Hey back attacha Silver. I've been busy taking classes and exams; I gradate on Saturday. :) Yes, he's a son that is 9. No. He doesn't want to be with him. His dad hasn't said what he wants. I offered a couple of weeks because of the little guy's desire to avoid being with him and they do see each other a lot as it is. I am really concerned what he'll do with him at night any how. Ed works nights (and honestly, he'll sleep during the day (he already does during the time he spends with him currently)). LF hasn't stayed at night with Ed, yet.... so I can't see it happening for more than a couple of weeks. I think Ed is in love with the idea of being a father, but not so great at parenting. If you know what I mean.

    Bookmark   May 5, 2009 at 9:18AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
silversword

How long is the summer break? Are there other breaks you will have to negotiate?

2 weeks sounds like enough considering the circumstances, but you may have to give a little more around the other holidays since he is close and you will have your DS the rest of the summer.

Congrats on graduating!!! That must feel really good!

    Bookmark   May 5, 2009 at 4:08PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mom2emall

Well my son is close in age to yours and I have always lived within an hour drive of my ex. In our court agreement, from when our son was a baby, he got EOW all year, alternating holidays, and one full week during the summer. My ex is in the trades though and has always worked overtime most of the summer so he has never taken his week of visitation.

What does your ex want for the summer visitation?? Since you live close I would think a week or two would be sufficient.

As a child I went to my dads for 2 weeks at the longest during the summer, and he lived close.

    Bookmark   May 11, 2009 at 9:41PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
rob333

He still hasn't told me what he wants. He was bantering with me in an email and I told him that I was strapped financially since I was coming up with money for camp, suggested he pay half (since it's what our son has done every year since forever, I assumed he'd want to make sure he got to go this year, just for stability issues), and he, being the everloving cheapskate that he is (it's all about money), when he said, Oh, he can stay with me all summer. Uh no. He can't. What would he the son during the day while he was sleeping or at night when he was at work??? It's also not ok as the son doesn't want to be with him, I don't want him to be gone that much, and really, he was just avoiding paying anything. But there's a lot between 2 weeks and a few months. 'sides, he sees him every week.

I'm pretty sure he was serious. :O

    Bookmark   May 12, 2009 at 1:02PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Mothers of estranged children....part II
I thought it might ease the posting if I restarted...
yoyobon_gw
Please Help !
I have 16 yrs old daughter she move out and live with...
muku
she is too demanding. please help
First, my mom never hits me. My brother and I got into...
logan524
parents of estranged adult children
I too have been where all of you are. I am so happy...
jan09
In-laws that don't get it!
We had to see MIL yesterday for Mother's day. Once...
ilovepink
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™