Sorry if this has been a recent subject.
DD11 and DH (her SF) cannot come to a common ground about her messy room. It is the ONLY major issue for him. I remember being her age, and I remember it being a huge problem for my Dad.
My position is: no food, clear the floor, and please keep clean and dirty clothes separated.I hate rewashing clean clothes! She has the best room in our house, and the most storage space. I also must constantly ask DD to keep her belongings in her room. I get tired of her stuff being in every other room. One or two items, no problem. I am talking 20 or more things, big and small, here, there and everywhere.
I have spent hours (twice) "helping" her clean her room. It is a big chore, and I am NOT going to do it again.She trashed it within days. When she was little, I would supervise and help organize, so she KNOWS what to do.
I feel it has become a battle of wills and DD is being passive-aggressive. I also feel that DH has forgotten how HIS room looked when he was a kid and a teen.(Um, also when he was a bachelor, not too long ago!His excuse was being too busy!)