Disingendered Daughter

frankie528April 21, 2003

My 47 year old daughter has not spoken to us (her parents) for 2 years even though she lives next door. We had an argument with her "new" husband over the flow of surface water coming from our property to hers. She told us that "she did not want to see our faces or talk to us" after we disputed his claim. He called in the town Building Official on us and the police.

He claimed that we were pumping this water onto 'his' property and he wanted to put in a direct driveway to their house instead of using ours. We had no problem with them using our drive except to ask them to please slow down to 20 mph when coming in or going out, and to please tell their friends to do the same. We have many pets that are allowed to roam on our 30 acres and didn't want them hit.

His contention was that the water was making it impossible to put his driveway in where he wanted it. Their house is downhill from ours (a natural way for water to flow) and we had to do something about it!

We finally put in a curtain drain ending in a dry well at the cost of over $1000. but that still did not satisfy them.

I have tried many times to show a 'no hard feelings on our part' treaty to her, but she still will not see us nor talk to us. Since then, there have been other things he did to make it impossible to be friendly with him.

What can I do? Give me some insite please!

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There isn't much you can do to change the way your daughter feels. She has made a choice either on her own or in support of her husband. She may not have had a choice but to take the side of her husband as he may have made life difficult for her if she didn't. Sounds like he is jealous of her relationship with you and he is trying to come between it to control her. I would venture a guess that he is controlling her life in all other respects as well. I think the only thing you can do is wait for her to come to you. You have made the effort to let by gones be by gones and they have rebuffed your efforts, so it is up to them now. You were right in taking the high road, but you don't always come out on top.

I hope she comes to her senses soon - life is too short.

Good luck

    Bookmark   April 24, 2003 at 3:41PM
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I too get the feeling that the hubby is controlling.Unfortunately if she has chosen to give him that power there isn't much you can do but wait and be there when she's ready to come to you.I hate it when children treat parents this way.I had a sister that would keep the GK's from my parents when ever my parents would get on her case about all the partying and such they liked to do when it always put them in a financial downfall.These were my parents first GK's and it tore them up.My mom worked in a grocery deli where my sister shopped and she was always walking by the deli ignoring my mom and wouldn't even let the kids talk toher Talk about cruel.She still needs to grow up and she's now 47.Hang in there and hopefully oneday soon your DD will have enough of this guy coming between your family.Good LUck.

    Bookmark   April 27, 2003 at 11:25AM
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