My aging mother is living in Florida with my step-father at my step-sister's condo. SF had a fall, broke his hip and is now in the hospital rehab unit. My mother is 81.
Here's my conundrum...the situation with SS is not working out. They are trying to sell the condo, and having two elderly people there is not conducive to selling, as they have to leave when a showing occurs. Since SF is in the hospital (and previously) I have contacted an organization that helps elderly folks find retirement homes and assited living commnunities. They have sent my mother the numbers to several communities with different levels of care (which she says she has misplaced); I have contacted the VA to send them information on VA assistanceto help finacially. Still there are excuses as to why contact can't be made trying to find a place to live.
When I call her nightly, there are excuses out the wazoo. She is feeble, but for her -age fairly healthy. She won't drive because SF has taken that privilege away (yes, she allowed it) and depends on SS and her husband for transportation to the hospital and soon to be nursing unit.
I listen when my SS vents and tells her to let me know if I can do anything. We live about 900 miles apart, so all the assistance I can give is by phone. I have done the research and tried to enable them to have some choices.
I am so exasperated that my mother will not make the effort to find somewhere else to live. Last night, I told her that she really needs to get moving on this for when he is finally released and she replied," well Bert said that we might just have to rent something [like an apt]". I told her that was ridiculous that they needed to be somewhere that they could be helped if needed, such as an independent or assisted living community...she can't care for him, nor him for her.
I am SO frustrated over this situation. I have been to a therapist who agreed that I have done all I could, but still I feel the frustration and even anger from the mess even 900 miles away! I have not resorted to medication yet, but this is getting to me physically in that my body is expressing the frustration in the form of shingles.
Does some wise someone out there have any words of wisdom?