Where can a singel mother get help with bills, etc.

berkMarch 16, 2004

I have a 19 yr. old grandaughter that is having a baby in July and is on her own. Her parents have thrown her out in so many words and one of my daughters and her husband have set her up in an apartment and paid a couple monthes rent and elec. for her and have hopefully a job lined up too. The problem is she will be off and no pay check in July and until she can go back to work, then there is finding a baby sitter. Isn't there place that help young mothers get on their feet? She needs a car too!! The father is history all ready. Seems like there should be aplace to get assistance other then food stamps.

Thanks for any and all help.

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adellabedella_usa

The father may be history, but she can still go after him for child support. She may have to go before a judge to have his wages garnered. I think the food stamp people may go after him as well, but I'm not sure.

Some of the churches may have organizations set up to help with food, clothing, and bills.

I'd check with the electric company to see if they offer assistance for low income families.

Has she signed up for WIC? She could get things like milk, eggs, cheese, formula from them.

A lot of times the government has free or subsidized housing and daycare. Check with the state Department of Health.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2004 at 2:45PM
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trekaren

Also consider adoption.

    Bookmark   March 18, 2004 at 6:40AM
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Karissa

I wholeheartedly agree with TREKaren. It would be in the best interest of both the Mother and the child. From my experience with running credit checks on young women..... this is a disaster still about to get worse. Usually the women attach themselves to some low life loser to help support them and both the woman and child suffer for years!!!! It takes a lot more strength to let go than to hold on at first, I know .... but in the long run it is best for all... especially for the child who would at least have a chance to live a normal life without a stressed out teenager as the only parent. I applaud the aunt and uncle that stepped in and am so sorry for the child that her parents did not have the heart to accept her WITH the problems. Love means accepting someone with their faults and mistakes and especially at her young age ...!! A mistake of this magnitude that can alter the entire course of her life would benefit from a loving hand on her shoulder. A temporary assist will never get her past the next 20 years when she has no education or resources to support herself much less a child. Our daughter is nearly 19 and attends college full time as well as carrying a full time job that earns 7.50 an hour and there is no way she could afford to support herself on that - let alone a baby and child care. It hurts me to see these young girls get hooked into a succession of losers to pay their bills. They deserve more than that out of life.... and the babies do too. Unfortunately, it is a scenario I see replayed all too often. I am not saying that this will necessarily happen to your granddaughter because - of course - everyone is different .... but it is much more common than the success stories.

    Bookmark   March 24, 2004 at 5:33PM
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nookie

Normally I wouldn't respond to your question simply because I don't have an answer for you. (however I do believe that Adella gave some good helpful answers)

I do feel the need to come to the defense of your granddaughter. TREKaren and Karissa shame on you! How could you be so crass as to suggest that she's going to ruin her life by keeping her baby?!! My DS had her son when she was 16 and has been on her own since the beginning. It was difficult but now she's 29,put herself through college with state funding,bought a house 3 years ago with a small farm and is doing very well for herself and her son on her own. She started out with NOTHING and managed to get all the state help she needed to get her feet on the ground.
Berk didn't ask for your opinions on adoption,she asked for financial help for her GG and future ggrandchild. I guess when the going gets tough for you then your solution would be to get rid of it and then say good ridance. :o((

nookie
what a wonderful world we live in

    Bookmark   March 30, 2004 at 9:11AM
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cupajoe

Lots of children born into poverty that have a greater appreciation for the basics than their suburban peers, some of whom think money grows on trees and grown ups are for verbally abusing.
I seem to recall a segment on CNN recently about a web site that matches single parents for house sharing. The benefits include built in baby sitter,and an extra support system as well as the usual splitting of bills. Don't remember the name of the site, but maybe a google search can turn it up.Sandy

    Bookmark   March 30, 2004 at 11:20AM
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berk

Thank you nookie for coming to my grandaughter's defense. Adoption & abortion where not even one of the choices.
This baby boy she is carrying has changed her life for the good so far and I know it will be rough being single but she loves this little baby boy and has all ready taken her GED and now is employed full time and yes she is on WIC now too. All is going better for her.
Thanks.

    Bookmark   March 30, 2004 at 12:44PM
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nookie

I'm glad that things are looking brighter for her! :o) Above all, congratulations on your future great grandson!! Enjoy every moment!!

nookie

    Bookmark   March 30, 2004 at 5:11PM
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trekaren

TREKaren and Karissa shame on you! How could you be so crass as to suggest that she's going to ruin her life by keeping her baby

Whoa! All I said was consider it. I said nothing more. And I most certainly did not mention abortion. There are some people that have babies young and yes they are successful. I would never say a child can ruin a life. Far from it. They are a blessing in so many ways. The young adult will have to grow up fast, that's for sure. I sure would not have been able to do it as a teen myself (heck I was barely ready at 33) LOL. And in many situations like this, despite saying they want the young adult to do it themselves, Grandparents end up being parents until Young mother is able to help. I have seen this countless times.

All I meant was, adoption is always an option worth considering, and if the situation is right, can be good for all involved.

Gee whiz!

How did you judge what I said that way, when all I said was three words?

Are you saying adoption would ruin lives? I have two nephews who would say no.

Am I saying being a young single mom would ruin lives? No, I have a niece who would say no.

Try not to be so quick to flame please. That was pretty harsh.

    Bookmark   March 31, 2004 at 8:07AM
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wwallace26_live_com

Im a single mother of a 3 year old i lost everything in aug. 2010 when i lost my job and we had to go stay in a shelter i found a job 3 mouths ago a finaly got us an app. I started having problems breathing and went to ther er they have found a large lung mass in my right lower lung then i started passing out and they have also found that i have S.V.T witch casuse my heart rate to go up to 200 and it causes me to pass out so the doctors have taking me out of work i have a job if i can just get back to work its not that i dont want to work its just i cant but i have no idea how long im going to be out with everything going on it may be weeks or a couple of mouths we have hit bottom once and i have pulled us back up my lil girls has been throw a lot and i just dont want to lose everything again and go back to the shelters PLEASE HELP MY LIL GIRL AND AND ME!! I have called the amer. red cross, dss, un. way, s. armry, and every where i know to call and they will not help us im the only one my daughter has and i have no family if some one knows of any where or any one i can call or get help please let me know!!!!

    Bookmark   March 21, 2011 at 3:16PM
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azzalea

There's a lot of other help out there. She can speak with her utility company--there are a number of different programs to help the low-income. She needs to remember never to let her bills get behind without talking to those she owes. If she's having financial trouble, just not paying only compounds the problem. Most creditors WILL work with a person who is honest and is trying to work out some sort of plan.

If she's low income, there are: free cell phones, free schooling, heating and cooling assistance, free furniture--as well as a lot of other government sponsored programs she can take advantage of. One of the best resources around is always another single mother. Most of them seem to have it figured out around here, and live better than many middle class, 2 parent families.

    Bookmark   March 21, 2011 at 6:22PM
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