lazy kid!!!!!!!

Seamer1February 10, 2011

I have an unmarried, pregnant, unemployed 21 year old daughter who is so lazy I could SCREAM!!

I asked her to clean out a closet for me, while she was laying on the couch watching tv. I waited to I was sure she wasn't going to get up and do it.

When I started the job myself she came in griping about having to do it, and that I didn't give her enough time to get to it.

We argued about her laziness.She told me she hates to clean up after me then she just leaves to go take a bath.I told her I have cleaned up after her for 21 years.

I told her she needed to find a place to go where they liked lazy. Her boyfriend has a job, better than some, but she wants him to get a better paying one so they can move out. I asked if there was any way to hurry it along.

I'm so sick of this kid taking advantage. GRRRRRRRRR

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popi_gw

Is there any reason why she can't get a job ?

Does the boyfriend live there too ?

Soon you will be taking care of her and her child.

    Bookmark   February 10, 2011 at 10:36PM
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emmi331

Don't ask her if they can hurry it along - TELL her she has to leave. Then give her a deadline and stick to it. Of course she's taking advantage, because you're allowing her to(sounds like her boyfriend is parked in your house, too). Trust me, if you let her stay until after the baby is born, you'll be doing child care on top of everything else because she'll be a lazy mother AND a lazy daughter. Was it YOUR decision to have a baby? No, it was THEIRS, and it's time for them to put on their big-kid pants, grow up, and start acting responsible.
Toughen up, Mom (or is this Dad?) and get them out A.S.A.P. or your life will never be your own again.
Take it from someone who had (and still has) a lazy son - when he refused to get his act together at age 20, I gave him fair warning, then followed through and tossed him out. He's now 31, married, a father, and is STILL unmotivated. Not my problem. And your daughter's foolish choices aren't yours, either. Best of luck.

    Bookmark   February 13, 2011 at 4:19PM
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patser

I agree with emmi. Kids don't take advantage of parents...in my view, parents let themselves be taken advantage of. Might the parent enjoy being needed, enjoy being able to be a victim, enjoy having a feeling of being indispensible...etc etc.?

Define rules and enforce them. If they aren't followed, then have consequences that you stick with. Stick with being the key words.

Good luck.

    Bookmark   February 14, 2011 at 7:59AM
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carol_in_california

My sister has a lazy daughter, too. My niece just turned 50.
She allowed her DD, who was 6 months pregnant, and her DD's boyfriend to move in until after the baby was born.
That was over 12 years ago....My sister, who will soon be 83, does everything for everyone in the house. My niece is so lazy my sister has to hire a housekeeper because no one picks up after themselves.
Good luck.

    Bookmark   February 14, 2011 at 3:07PM
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toddlerbed

She is not only hurting you but herself as well. She is at a loss of self esteem I am sure, maybe even self-confidence. She needs to do something for herself to feel good about herself. Maybe if you explain the need for her to get a job or go to school for her own self,to develop a better feeling of herself and some pride, would go a long way!

Here is a link that might be useful: toddlertips4u

    Bookmark   February 24, 2011 at 8:11PM
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mkroopy

My daughter is 13....and the last 6 months have been tough, acting up, getting in trouble, grades slipping, etc. She was always a good kid, top honors student, etc.

I've already started to tell her that this is how it goes:

If you do well in school, we will pay for your college and have the best years of your life, and you can live here when not at school as long as you do well. Then you are out.

If you continue to f*ck up in school, I am not going to waste all the thousands of dollars we've been saving for you on college if you have demonstrated that you don't take your studies seriously. If that happens, you graduate from highschool, turn 18 and you are out. Have fun working in a diner when all your friends are away at college having the best years of their lives.

Its up to you which one of these you choose....oh and if you ever get pregnant, don't for a second think me and your mother are raising the kid for you....good luck with that.

There is NO way my kids will leach off me as adults. Temporary assistance here and there, is one thing...failing to grow up because mom and/or dad are taking care of you is another thing.

Your kid needs some tough love or this will never end.....

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 12:16PM
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silversword

MK, that's GREAT ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 1:39PM
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azzalea

What I don't get is that you told her to clean the closet, you waited a while, then YOU started cleaning it. What? If you told HER to do it, why on earth did you lift a finger to start it? I'm so sorry, but if that's how you're dealing with the situation, you're a big contributor to it.

My daughter knew that as long as she was in school, and making adequate grades, she could live home for free. But in the summer, and as soon as she graduated, she paid board. I didn't mind her living here, but I believe in teaching children that they do have to pay their own way. She also was expected to pitch in around the house, and to abide by the house rules (no matter how old she was--it is, after all, our home). Luckily, we were in a position where we didn't really need the board she paid, so I banked it in a separate account. When she was established in her career, and bought herself a condo, I handed her a passbook with thousands of $$$ in it--her board.

If you truly want opinions, no pregnant 21 year old should be sponging off her parents. She should be going to school AND working, she should be paying board--she's not a 5 year old, after all. And she should be pitching in around the house WITHOUT complaining. A breach of any of those would put my child on the fast track to an eviction. You really do need to stand up for yourself here. More importantly, you need to stand up for your DAUGHTER--we do our children no favors by NOT expecting them to be responsible adults. If you don't make her grow up, who will?

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 9:31PM
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vala55

Give them a 30 day notice.

    Bookmark   March 1, 2011 at 5:19PM
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