harrassed kid at school

Seamer1February 10, 2006

We will be moving to a new state soon ( about 3-4 weeks) Our older daughter had a car accident in which her friend wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He hit the windshield. His parents are so quick to cause problems with the medical bills although they have been told that we will pay the bills. The problem is the boys sister is harrassing my younger daughter at school. I went to the principle and asked that the teacher they share a class with was told. Instead of just keeping a watchful eye on the bullying, she makes a class announcment saying how she will not referee fights in her class, all the while staring at my child. This is exacally what I was trying to avoid. The class then wanted to know what was going on, and the bullier got her 2cents worth in, with out talking directly to my daughter. I have half a mind to take her out of school early. these kids are in high school, and it is getting really ugly. The bullie was even told by the police to not harrass my daughter about the matter, and she still gets her bulling in. The teacher is intimidated by the girl also, so she pretty well gets to do as she pleases in the class, and the school does nothing about it.

Your views please

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Oh what a mess.

The teacher should not have made this a public matter. I would follow up with the principal, in a very calm and polite manner, and tell her that the situation was not handled well. A face-to-face meeting would probably be better than a phone call. Perhaps the principal needs to speak with the the teacher and the bullier, separately. You must insist that the principal help you. It's her/his job to keep your daughter safe.

Make sure your daughter is not encouraging the bullying by talking with the other girl or even making eye contact with the bully. She should be ignoring her and avoiding her and she should also report further bullying to you.

How does your daughter get home from school? If there is any chance she will encounter the bully, you need to make arrangements for her to get home safely.

I'm glad you are moving. Your daughter can get a fresh start.

    Bookmark   February 10, 2006 at 7:29PM
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I'm continuing to think about this, and it would be a good idea to get both girls and the teacher in a sit-down meeting with the principal to get both sides of the story from the girls and to put a stop to the problem.

    Bookmark   February 10, 2006 at 8:07PM
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I was so irritated by this information from my daughter, that I did indeed call the principal, who is also the super. I told him of my displeasure, and told him, that by the teacher making a public speech about the situation, the exact thing I was trying to prevent, actually was encouraged by the teacher. I told him during the phone call that my intention was to pull her out of school, and if she had to repeat her sophamore year all over again, that we were prepared to do so. I also informed him of the school, and teachers lack of responsibility for ending bullying by students. He was very sorry that it has come to this, and he may go ahead and award her the credits for her classes thus far, and allow her to not return, since we will be moving soon anyway.
I told him I predicted "an incident" at that school. One of my dear friends has a son with a mild form of autism who is harrassed continuosly, who I feel could be a loose cannon. I did not mention his name, but warned the principle if the bullying was allowed to continue, he could very well have the incedent I predict. BTW, this girl who was bullying my daughter has also been bullying a freshman girl who has previously tried to committ suicide for that kind of trestment. She also had another breakdown this week and threatened it again. It is serious.
Thank you for your concern. We are at a loss

    Bookmark   February 10, 2006 at 10:17PM
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In some states, students can do work outside of school on "independent study," though they are accountable to teachers for reading, tests, worksheets. That seems like a run and hide approach and does not really fix the situation, just gets your daughter out of it (which of course is the most important thing to you and would be to me also).

Whatever happens, keep your principal informed, otherwise he'll have no idea of what's going on, good or bad. Did he say what his plan of action would be?

You've been through a lot with the accident. It's all terribly upsetting, and moving too just adds to the stress. Good luck.

    Bookmark   February 11, 2006 at 9:17AM
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What is being done with the bully? Perhaps she should be made to take her classes elsewhere. I don't like the run and hide approach for just that. The bully can continue on. There will always be another victim.

    Bookmark   February 12, 2006 at 1:47PM
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I agree with lizql most children who get bulled will get bulled where ever they go because they attract these kind of people, Im not saying that its your daughters fault at all I would have your daughter get some councling on this kind of situation to make her stronger so this does not happen when she gets to her new school. Kids can be very evil and mean, it usually stems from the parents, and the kids have a low self estem so they take it out on other weaker children to make themself feel cool, sad situation.

    Bookmark   February 15, 2006 at 1:06PM
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We will be going to the school board meeting tonight. My daughter was hit by the bully today in the hallway. The bully made sure it was not seen, but shoved her with her shoulder and sent her sailing. I talked to the principle again today, and was basically told there wasn't anything that can be done. I am afraid my daughter will get enough and sock it to the bully. Will keep you posted

    Bookmark   February 21, 2006 at 7:35PM
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I am so upset about this. I hope the situation will be resolved properly.

My beef is that it was an "ACCIDENT" and the kid wouldn't have been hurt if he was wearing his seatbelt in the first place. His family should be mad at him and not your daughter. I am appauled by the situation. Good luck!

    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 2:25PM
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I don't condone fighting but sometimes bullys just need to be put in their place. I raised my girls not to fight but if someone hits you, you better darn well defend yourself. I think my girls carried that attitude with them and still do to this day. No body ever messed with them.

    Bookmark   February 23, 2006 at 4:28PM
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Well we waited at the school board meeting, just to be told we had not gone through proper channels to be heard. So, we couldn't have our say. The problem has mellowed some, but the bully is still giving hate stares. I did find out that she is 18 years old though, and I can have her arrested if she does hit her. These people are driving us nuts.

    Bookmark   February 27, 2006 at 2:59PM
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