estranged 19 year old what to do
My son has grown up not in the perfect home but a good one he was an only child on my side youngest of three on his fathers side. His father passed away when he was 16 after a long terminal illness. Shortly before my husbands death he annouced he was gay... We got past that hurdle i accepted it and never bad mouthed homosexuality to him i simply wanted him to find a person who was respectfull of him. So long story short my son meets this teen on a messenger local site. And this teen (17) at the time had already left his own parents house to be involved with a couple in their mid 20's having sex with the husband, all the while my son was just his friend. Soon this other teen ran into problems and my son was asking me if he could move in (i also have a 2 year old) and i wasnt about to have someone elses teen in my house and figured he needed to work it out with his parents not live with us. Pretty soon this teen starts teeling my son he needs to quit school and move in with him and his family and get a job. I know all this because my son told me everything that was going on. This fam wants him to pay rent..they have also allowed another teen who is my sons new boyfriends ex boyfriend. My son has problems hasnt helped around the house in a year wont clean up after himself or shower regulary. So we had arguments of how he needed to get it tovgether help around the house get his liscense and grraduate he turned 19 today. But has been a prob for over two years. He tells me his new boyfriend reads his text yells at him when he talks to anyone else and tells him when to eat and when to drink because my son and i were close he told me all this himself and have heard about it from. Other friends mothers . Well we had talked about it he said he was ending the relationship because of all this and for the last three months him and his new boyfriend have been off and on again. Well fast foward shortly after christmas i got really fed up and told my son if your going to act 16 and your almost 19 and wont help around the house im taking your phone and you can be grounded until you get your priorities straight ... Needless to say he ran away to his boyfriend didnt speak to me for 3 days trashed me on public social sites and today is his 19th birthday i feel like ive failed he is quiting school has applied for a job and only had two course left to graduate. I spoke to the parent when he came to get his clothes and all the stuff the boys had said about her when they wanted the bf to move into my house broke down explained it was breaking my heart and please do the right thing send him home for at least a few months so he could graduate she said she would talk to the boys and her husband and havent heard anything since . She has three late teens in her house paying rent my son is the new finacial provider for their house i dont know what i am supposed to do ... Some tell me cut contact with my son for a while.. i cant open my door so when he gets tired of the abusive bf he comes back here and causes problems between the existing household i have another son to raise...and only to go back once they make up . I feel betrayed by his twisted version of how i put him down all the time.. he knows better .. what do you do with a teen when other parents harbor them and allow him to destroy his education and a bf who doesnt like me because he is super possesive ...and my son doesnt bother to have contact with me its been two weeks and i havent spoken to him in three days... Advice please..some say let him know your there for him. But honestly his dad was severly mentally abusive to me for 17 years then passed away now my son is trying to mentally abuse me and put me down... Any advice?