Frustrated with adult teen

wickid43January 25, 2010

Hi I'm new here, I have a DD that will be 20 come April.She has been removed from the home 3 times for her destructive and verbally abusive behavior. This has effected my husband and I, but mostly her 8 and 5 yr old siblings. About 6 months ago was the last episode and when she didn't come home we chose to put her belongings in storage instead of the curbside.We have paid for that 6 months of storage and only asked that she pay for the storage so then she could have her belongings returned to her. She has waited 6 months and now has the police involved and will not have to take any resposibility for her actions.I am so frustrated with her munipulation and lies that everyone seems to believe, yet no one hears me including the police. I don't get it! Can ony one help!!

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By law you cannot keep her belongings, they must be returned to her. It was your choice to put them in storage and the storage is in your name so you are responsible. You would have been just as responsible if you left them at the curbside and they were destroyed. I know it probably doesn't make sense to you but that's the way the law reads. Your other option would have been to keep them and tell her to come and get them but refuse her entry into the house.

Really the police may have listened and they may well have believed you, but they have no option but to follow the law

Call the police and tell them you want to give them back but don't know how to go about it and get their advice on what to do. If you are pleasant they will help. You may have to bite the bullet and pay the storage fees.

    Bookmark   January 27, 2010 at 12:42PM
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I was advised by our finest to after 7 days I could have put everything to the curb and not being responsible afterwards, so your not to up on the law plus I'm very aware of all that you haqve said. That was not what I was looking for.

    Bookmark   January 27, 2010 at 5:08PM
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Well what are you looking for then ? Perhaps if you asked a specific question you will get the response you desire.

Why is your daughter behaving like that ? She sounds like an angry young lady.

    Bookmark   January 27, 2010 at 11:18PM
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Where is she living that she didn't take her stuff with her? If it were me, I would give her things to her and forget trying to get the storage fees.

Yes, she does sound like an angry young lady, and I'm wondering if she might be one within the growing epidemic of bipolar disorder or something similar. (Yes, that's often the first thing folks might think about) If so, she needs your help or she.

Is that anger I hear from you, or frustration?

    Bookmark   January 28, 2010 at 8:12AM
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FWIW...many years ago during hostile divorce (short marriage), my friend's wife left and was uncommunicative. The house was his by inheritance so no issue there but her personal property was still there and she wouldn't take any action or cooperate in any way about that notwithstanding that he was paying for her new apartment. After a couple of months, he moved all her stuff into a public storage facility, paid in advance for two months with account in her single name, and sent her the key. Of course she made a big stink about it during the divorce, but the judge saw nothing wrong with it. Actually, judge was considering charging her back for the moving and storage because of her lack of cooperation. Legally, it was a non-issue.

Don't know what the law may be like where you are, but I can't imagine you'd be required to store another persons property for free under any circumstances. From your description, sounds to me like time to be hard-nosed about it.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2010 at 1:29PM
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Okay, she's not an "adult teen" she's an adult.

Have you ever considered why you have somehow given her permission in some way to abuse you?

You need to decide that you deserve better treatment from her, tell her that simply and then get rid of her.

You can only be a doormat if you lay down in front of the door!

Stand up for yourself, or get used to a life of abuse.

    Bookmark   March 5, 2010 at 8:07AM
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