Problematic relationship with adult daughter
My adult daughter is in her late twenties, happily married, and expecting her first child. She is beautiful, intelligent, and successful, and has many friends. Our relationship is problematic, however, in that she can be judgmental, condescending, and sometimes, hurtful--only to me, it seems. Even innocuous conversations find me walking on eggshells. She has always been somewhat prickly, but finds fault with whatever I say. If she takes issue with something I say, her tone becomes icy and she will criticize and sometimes berate me over whatever point she disagrees with. Recently I offered to help her with anticipated expenses. Instead of declining graciously, she let me have it for "always asking if she needs help with expenses." I was taken aback; while I have offered on a few occasions, I honestly didn't perceive it as "always."
I feel terrible and apologized; she continued to pick at me about it. My husband and I are proud of her and love her very much. We don't interfere in her business or criticize. My relationship with my daughter is very important to me, but I hate the way she makes me feel: insignificant and very unloved. Can anyone provide suggestions?