gooseeggJanuary 23, 2008

ok, so i just got an email form my sons, who is 11, teacher stating that she is having difficulty having him complete his assignments in class. Everyone else is finishing, and he just doesnt want to. Its not that he cant, he is very smart, he just wont.

At home, we are having the same issue. Homework that he could complete in 30 minutes, he is dragging out for hours, and i do mean hours. Last night alone he was up until 9:15pm doing his homework. I do not understand his thinking on this. He has plenty of time to complete this in his classes, and he also has study hall to work nfor a whole period doing his homework.

Then he comes home and drags this out! we have done everything possible.

Anyone else?

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When my little one is dragging things out, I have been known to say he must finish his homework before dinner. (only when I'm sure it's possible.) Then I continue cooking, giving him periodic timing updates. If he's working diligently, I'll adjust my own timing so he makes it, and compliment him on his improved focus and hard work. If not, then he's left sitting at the kitchen table while we eat in the dining room... He's eaten a cold supper twice this year.

The other tactic I've used is to ask him if he wants to spend 30 minutes on his homework or 90. Even though he doesn't really have a good grip on the time, he knows 30 minutes is the 'right' answer. So then we'll break down his work lists into bites and use the timer to keep him on track for each segment.

    Bookmark   January 23, 2008 at 4:37PM
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it would not bother my son to eat a cold dinner..yuck!

as far as the timer, we do that too, and when he doesnt make it, he gets really mad and refuses to finish!

but i do like the timing each individual section. it may be a bit more work for me, but obviously he is oblivious to the timing issue, and maybe this might help him to understand that more. and MAYBE, just maybe that will carry over into the school classes. good idea :-)

    Bookmark   January 23, 2008 at 4:48PM
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Yea the timing method is a good idea.

Perhaps you need to sit with him and see how he works and get him moving.

Get back to basics if things aren't going well. That's what I try to do.

    Bookmark   January 24, 2008 at 3:56AM
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We were having a similar problem with my SD8. She was spending hours every night to get a half an hours work done. She would rush through, bring it to DH, he would check it. All were wrong. He would erase them and send her back. This would go on until bedtime and he was getting frustrated with her. When he would get really frustrated, I would step in and check it. She would then start getting them right and get done. So, I thought about it and figured, maybe she's doing it to spend time with dad and even though he was getting frustrated and it wasn't 'good' attention, she was still getting his ongoing attention when she did this. We sat her down and told her that she can bring her work to me if she doesn't understand it and I will help her. When she is done with her homework properly, dad will spend time with her playing a game or watching tv/movie. We also told her that if she doesn't get it done by dinner time, she has to take it to school 'as is'. The other kids in class correct each other's work and she doesn't want anyone to make fun of her for getting it wrong. She is home for almost three hours before he gets home from work, so almost overnight, she started getting all her work done well before he got home. She does bring it to me when it's done to check it but usually doesn't need help. Now when he gets home, they can spend time with fun activities instead of him being frustrated, thinking she doesn't understand anything from school and she isn't getting the negative attention.

With an 11 year old, I would find out what motivates him. Every kid has something they value enough to change their behavior for. It could be TV, phone, computer, riding bikes, etc. just pick the one thing that he would not like to lose and use it to motivate him to get it done. It has to be something you can follow through with. Right now, I am having trouble getting my 18 year old son to follow our rules (he thinks because he's 18, he has NO rules) so he is doing better after I told him that he won't be allowed to use the car. He likes the freedom of being able to go see his friends when he wants. If he's capable of doing the work and just doesn't want to, then he needs to be motivated. If he doesn't understand it, then that's different.

    Bookmark   January 24, 2008 at 2:35PM
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i agree and we have done everything from explaining to him that we can have family time if he gets it done before bedtime.

We have grounded him as well, but that was in combination with other things, and it just doesnt phase him. His attitude is "bring it on".

last night i didnt get a chance to do the sectioning timer thing that someone suggested because he was just about done with the homework last night (he had detention, so he finished most of it there) and then he was grounded (different issue) so, i couldnt reward him, but i did mention to him how much better it was that he finished his homework quicker.

    Bookmark   January 24, 2008 at 3:02PM
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Are you sure he can do all the work? Do you notice that he starts daydreaming or getting up from the homework for a million reasons (i.e. bathroom, kleenex, trips to the garbage can, )? I work with lots of kids who are smart in one area or another, but have trouble completing work. Some have ADD, some have ADHD, some are dyslexic, and some just do not want the other kids to know they are smart. Others just like all the attention they get from adults when they are not doing their work. You need to figure out why your son is avoiding his work and go from there.

    Bookmark   January 25, 2008 at 7:51PM
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I agree with mom2emall. It is possible that he cannot keep his attention for that long or gets too tired or....maybe his homeowrk is too long for his age!

    Bookmark   January 27, 2008 at 6:01PM
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