Daughter's new 'female' kitten may be a male- do I tell her?

koala_emJanuary 14, 2006

Let me start by saying my 8yo daughter has been terribly bullied, is quite fragile emotionally and is about to start at a new school.

We got her a kitten as we felt she would relate well to having a pet to turn to if feeling down etc.

We have had the kitten for nearly 6 weeks... and last night I noticed that "her" private parts looked rather like a male (we have her litter brother also). In my defence they didn't look like this before and I have never had a kitten before...! and that is what the owner told us!

Now the kitten has a unisex name- luckily I talked her out of 'Princess'.

But my daughter, who is a little pink frilly princess herself loves her 'little girl' kitten.

The kitten will be desexed soon.... so, do I tell her that "She" is a "he" or do I let her go on happily in ignorant bliss and leave the cat as "she"?

I suspect the cat won't care!

Koala_Em

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adellabedella_usa

We had one of those sex change kittens too. We didn't figure it out until about a year later.

If it were me, I'd tell her. I don't think you really have anything to lose. Presumably, you will have this cat for several more years. Someone else may it out to her later. I'd act like it was funny how your little "princess" turned out to be a "prince" and laugh it off. It might be a little bit of a lesson too in taking what you're dealt and rolling with it.

    Bookmark   January 14, 2006 at 11:00AM
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momj47

I don't think so. If you want to tell her, wait until after the cat is spayed/neutered, then you'll know for sure what it is/was, and you can tell her the vet says it's a male rather than a female. You're right, the cat won't care.

    Bookmark   January 14, 2006 at 8:30PM
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trekaren

Your DD is same age as mine. Pets, and animals in general, are the best way to teach children about a lot of areas of life that are hard to talk about (birds, bees, dying, etc). This is a good opportunity for education that she should be old enough to handle just fine. I'd wait until vet confirms but I would definitely tell her. And then give her time to ask any questions she has; I'm sure she'll have a few.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2006 at 10:09AM
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carla35

Ditto, what the others say. I don't see a real need to shield her from the truth.

    Bookmark   January 18, 2006 at 11:45AM
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lindac

Don't lie to your child....you may look at it as "shielding her"...but in 4 years, and if you are lucky you will still have the cat....and she will be 12 and will you still be pretending it's a "little girl kitty"?
Tell her the truth.
Linda C

    Bookmark   January 21, 2006 at 12:55PM
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Vickey__MN

Another vote for telling the truth, why not. You made a mistake..so what. It's a boy, not a girl, so what. A cat is a cat, will love no matter what sex it is. Good lesson there also, boys love as well as girls.

Vickey-MN

    Bookmark   January 26, 2006 at 7:59AM
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koala_em

UPDATE!
Well, I told her.
That night when I put her to bed she asked me "Can I still keep the kitten if it's a boy?" LOL!!!! Of course!!

A few days later she told the whole family that she wants the kitten to be a girl and she knows it is REALLY a boy but for everyone to refer to the kitten as "SHE".
I asked her if she wanted a different kitten that was a girl (no- I wouldn't dump the kitten! just trying to psych her). She said no, she wants her kitten and her kitten to be called a girl.

OK... so what now? do I accept her wishes? or try and reason with her that the cat should be HE?

    Bookmark   January 26, 2006 at 9:26AM
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lindac

Call it a girl if that's what she wants.....call it a rabbit if that's what she wants LOL! She KNOWS it's a girl and that's what counts.
I know people who have a rooster called Henrietta, and another rooster called Elvis, until it started laying eggs!
I have seen male poodles referred to as "she"...just because of the hair cut.
Glad you told her the truth!
Linda C

    Bookmark   January 26, 2006 at 2:21PM
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lindac

Call it a girl if that's what she wants.....call it a rabbit if that's what she wants LOL! She KNOWS it's not a girl and that's what counts.
I know people who have a rooster called Henrietta, and another rooster called Elvis, until it started laying eggs!
I have seen male poodles referred to as "she"...just because of the hair cut.
Glad you told her the truth!
Linda C

    Bookmark   January 26, 2006 at 2:25PM
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Vickey__MN

Sorry, I disagree with calling it a girl when it's a boy. It's not the truth. I know she know's it's a boy, and it's a "game". But call a spade a spade. It's a boy. As far as the name, so what, keep that.

Vickey-MN

    Bookmark   January 27, 2006 at 4:20PM
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jannie

OMG, this is so funny! The exact thing happened to me. We found a tiny kitten walking in our back yard. We took "her" in, even took it to our vet for check-up and the vet pronounced our cat a female. We gave her a unisex sounding name "Suki". But Suki then grew two furry things on her back end and started to "hump" blankets and even acted very affectinately toward our female (spayed) dog. It was so funny. But we explained to our kids and everyone "got it". It wasn't a shock. Don't worry. Just be honest. It's hard to tell when animals are so young. Even a vet can make a mistake.

    Bookmark   August 18, 2006 at 12:29AM
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