Where is the Parents of teens site?!

lbelleJanuary 16, 2007

Hi, new to this board. Seems my parenting skills have gone out the window with this teenager thing. I have a 15 yo girl. We moved a little over a year ago. I think she's finally gotten over the depression of that, but, she still seems to be floundering in the girlfriend department. She wants to be social, but one friend isn't. The other wants to get into too much trouble. It's hard to get other girls to ask her to join them. OR, she's turned into a negative grumpy teen who complains about everything and everyone. Especially teachers. And coaches.

If I make suggestions, I'm shut down. I don't want her to end up with a bad crowd.

Any advice on what's normal for teens?

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Vickey__MN

#1 Parents of Teen site got shut down, too many Pervs visited it, so sad.

#2, much of what you describe is normal for teens, sadly. And much of that leads to bad crowds. If you can somehow get her into other crowds, that MAY help. We thougth on daughter who was going to church a lot and "seemed" to be hanging around with good kids (talked to the parents, etc), was doing well...NOT, those kids were hanging with kids doing drugs and with parents who didn't care. So it's hard to tell. So my only suggestion is to keep TALKING, not lecturing, open ended conversations. Do things with her, etc.

Vickey-MN

    Bookmark   January 16, 2007 at 7:21AM
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lbelle

Thanks for the support. I had a feeling life was up to her now. It seems the lessons I taught her have gone out the window. And, I showed her real life friends who have screwed up their lives. Peer pressure seems so much more dominant than it did when I was growing up. I feel like they think life is like the "reality TV" shows she likes to watch. But, if all of their friends think that way, does it make it so? WWhat a horrible future of unnecessary "drama" they will have to look forward to.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2007 at 8:35AM
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bnicebkind

Can you make home a fun place for her to invite kids over, to help build some friendships that will extend into her school life. If there are kids she thinks are really nice at school, can she get to know them better by inviting them to do things? I think teens assume that everyone but them is out having a great time (and for some teens...perhaps this is true) but I think that there are alot who are also sitting at home, not really doing much. Can she try and build a few new friendships?

    Bookmark   January 16, 2007 at 10:46AM
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coolmama

Ew,the teen board really got shut down because of too many pervs??? That is terrible!

lbelle,your teen sounds pretty normal.She wont want your advice because you are her "parent" and therefore deemed uncool.(dont worry,this wont last)
I do advise you though that if starts seeming too depressed or out of control to take her to a doctor.
Many teens can have a chemical imbalance brought on by all the hormonal changes and it can make them act like crazy people!
That of course is worst case scenerio.Just be supportive.Listen to her nag,tell her you love her,and leave it at that. If she really needs advice,she will ask you,but mostly teens just,"Want to be heard"
Good luck!

    Bookmark   January 16, 2007 at 2:37PM
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popi_gw

Ibelle

I know what you are going through. When my DD was 15 her behaviour mirrored what she saw on TV. She watched a lot of shows where the young people were so disrespectful towards their piers and the adults. I could see that was how my DD was behaving to me.

In my corner of the world, my children did go to a school that had very good discipline and they set a high standard of behaviour, one thing that impressed me was the boys had to stand back and let the girls through the door first. My DS is still at this school now. So a big proportion of the students are there because their parents seek out that sort of school.

I think the suggestion of your daugher asking people over is a good idea. Just talk to her, ask her about her day, be her good role model.

I know its very hard, particularly when they just really don't like you ! Its like tip toeing through a mine field. You never know when the mine will go off, and you don't know what the damage will be.

And of course we are punching bags, like one of those blow up clowns that you punch and then they pop back up !

Sorry about all tha analogies !

I am sure things will get better, I think she is over the worst of it.

All the best to you.

Popi

    Bookmark   January 17, 2007 at 3:31AM
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jpc57

I'm the web manager of www.drdavestein.com, and I'm the parent of a teen! Check out http://www.drdavestein.com to see if there's anything there that'll help. He's not just about ADD/ADHD, btw. Hope it helps.

Julie

Here is a link that might be useful: DrDaveStein

    Bookmark   January 24, 2007 at 5:15PM
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