First wife and I had a long bitter divorce but produced one daughter . She was not quite 3 at the time and I got custody and stayed with me until she was 11. then went to live with her mother stepfather until she married .
I made a STRICT policy of never discussing the divorce
for many reasons . She is grown has children of her own,even a grandmotherlol During visits whenever the subject came up I would avoid direct answers or change the subject.
During a visit last May the subject came up mostly about the details. When I tried to change the subject she said "I.m a grown woman I think I can handle anything you might say and I feel whatever the truth it mostly involves me " So for the next 4 hours we discussed every sordid detail and included her husband who knew her mother but only me indirectly of course.
Anyway , I was VERY uncomfortable but realised almost every detail was either an outright lie or twisted
She told me the conversation was "Very useful" as did her husband but I feel I made a huge mistake in rehashing the distant past and noted it aroused alot of emotion that I though was dead and buried lol
Anyway this brings me to the present problem she severed all contact with her nmother over 3 years ago. In fact her mother has remarried and she didn't know it though they live less than 10 miles apart!! I feel this is wrong after all it's her mother no matter what happened ..
She does have some VERY good reasons I'll admit but there must be another way. I do think it's irelevant what I think so have not pushed the point . Since we live 1500
miles apart I only communicate irregularly but can sure feel a "wedge" building . So I guess the answer is to "Shutup?? Feel I'm making yet another mistake?? Thanks for any suggestions