handholding for motherlode and others in same situation
I saw your post in my thread about having found the courage to email your son. That was very brave of you, to face the fear that things might backfire or be ignored, but following your heart and writing anyways.
Good for you ! (hugs)
I wish there were words that I could say to you to help relieve and alleviate you some of the emptiness and pain you must be feeling, but there are not.
What comes to my mind is something I read once about a tribe of indians. When they knew that somebody bore a terrible loss, a loss they knew that was beyond any words being able to sooth,they would go to their homes and take the greiving person's hand in theirs and sit in silence as a gesture of showing that they united with the person in their sorrow.
So for a while imagine I am sitting there with you holding your hand. You are not alone. I have a secret fear my son will turn from me too one day from my decision, so I imagine what you feel.
Maybe as time goes by, and we all know eachther better we could put our heads together and think of an idea to help turn things around, okay?
Hopefully others will come and we could generate some good mojo and prayers and help eachother.