DH let them see the stuff that was leaving!
When I did my huge closet clean-out, I put all the donation stuff in the trunk.
It did sit in the corner of the LR for a few days, so it's not like it was sttealthy--not the donating part--but I also didn't really ask permission or draw their attention to stuff.
it's been in the trunk now for a week or two, waiting on a chance to go to the Goodwill or Salvation Army.
Kids are off from school, and the movie DH was taking them to is near the Goodwill/Salvation Army, so DH figured he'd deliver it, and he asked the kids to help him carry it.
They were not happy, apparently, that some of the stuff was leaving the house without their approval. My DD wouldn't talk to me when I called home to ask about something else.
Now I have to be tough without being mean. I can do it; I have no worries about what I gave away, but of course if they ever really focused on it, they wouldn't be happy.
I'd meant for this to be further under their radar.....