How much death sort is really survivor choice?
So many people have dealt with clearing out relatives' homes and describe the effort and time (sometimes counted in years) to do the job.
Both of my parents are dead (divorced, so 2 homes), so i didi go through it too.
It seems like most of the effort is related to separating the wheat from the chaff, i.e.,the survivor WANTS "the good stuff".
What if the deceased would be really surprised to know of all the angst and just figured her stuff would just be chucked when she's dead and can't use it anymore?
Several caveats: house- clearers sometime have a fiduciary as well as emotional bond and need to maximize the estate for the person(my mom went into assisted living and expected proceeds from house to help pay) or for the surviving spouse or whatever. So it can be extremely important not to lose the closet Rembrandt or the deed to the gold mine. Further, it costs money,but not so much time and personal misery, to have a house cleared or dumpsterized by someone else. And of course if it's a close relative, then we have huge ties to the " stuff" as part of our own lives.
So I'm being intentionally the devil' s advocate when I wonder , are we saying, Aunt Martha, you better develop a better relationship with your thing before you die so I won't have to resist my own compulsions to look for treasures and my own inability to let go? Are we saying , please just keep only good stuff and put the jewelry where I can find it?