I invited the 'you need a Dumpster!' lady to my home
What an idiot I am! They're in town for the weekend and want to get together, so I said, "come over on Saturday, we'll feed you lunch, and the kids can go to the park or sit around and talk."
Some of you who'd been here a long time may remember the friend of mine who told me "you need a Dumpster!"
OK, we have a lot of stuff, more than we can fit comfortably to be honest, and sometimes it's messy, but I don't need to be scolded! Not by someone I see once every year-and-a-half, who is sitting at my dining room table, drinking my coffe, on a light social visit.
It was a clear eye-opener that we're not as close as she thinks we are. If we were, she would *know* that she didn't need to "tell me a few home truths." We'd have talked (as I have w/ my other two good friends) about the whole project, and my struggles with it, and she'd have said some *other* sort of thing to either encourage me or make me realize that if I'd stop being so lazy, or so determined to only relax at home, it wouldn't be so bad.
I have friends who can do that, but she can't. (for one thing, she's not good at it) I don't think she knows it, and I don't think it's worth telling her, but it was a clear message to me that we are not intimates.
Anyway, our family has had vacations and birthday parties, which means even more stuff, and we've all sort of let stuff pile up in the corners. So I'll be spending my morning moving it out.
So, there are a few things I'm gleaning from this, emotionally and philosophically:
Â I suppose the Dumpster lady is doing me a service adn has a purpose in your life; the negative judgments I expect her to make are motivating me to get off my duff
Â Be careful how you speak to people, even those you consider your friends; your negative comments will last a LONG time past the point you say them, and they may change your friendship even if you don't see evidence of it (though I haven't been suggesting we go visit them!)
Â Things sting more when they're true.
Â I really must get my kids to purge. I'm tired of being the only one who's willing to. And they need to learn how to do this.
(here is an earlier post about her)