Dumpster -- Need Support, not 'helpful criticism'
I am a clutterbug. ("Hello Clutterbug") This feels like some kind of confession at a 12 step ... :o)
I am probably going to get a dumpster next weekend and spend a week or so of dumping.
Just 5 short years ago I could park the car in the garage and could host company in my house. I had 2 young kids who were both high needs (for different reasons) but was somehow able to manage most of the clutter in addition to juggling them and our activities. I am a clutterbug by nature, but was able to keep it on a fairly ok level. Not as low as I would have liked, but low enough to give the house a big clean push to make the little piles shrink or go away.
[note -- eventhough I am a clutterbug and can easily live in clutter, I prefer not to. Can't stand grime, but clutter can be ignored.]
Then, I planned a summer where my pre-k kids would be in daycare for 2 days a week and my friends and I were going to round-robin at each other's homes and help deep clean. All our kids were signed up for the same summer program.
Bam! Was diagnosed with breast cancer and my life turned upside down. Treatment was heavy and intense and several years later I am still tired. Very tired. Of course, in the meantime, my kids started school and are even more active than before, so the clutter has turned into junky piles. Everywhere.
I have a weekly cleaning lady to help me -- she even helps me to pick up stuff and does lite laundry (sheets, towels, etc) I also clean clean clean it seems. But, I keep getting behind. I suspect that it is not the daily/weekly cleaning, but the under-stuff that is really tripping me up.
My kids are still high needs and I quit my job to be more involved with them. I somehow thought that that would also free up time to clean my "stuff" and it is just not happening. I am feeling very overwhelmed.
My friends also have kids in school now and are back to work, so the round-robin thing is not an option.
So ...... I just told DH this morning that if he gets a dumpster on our driveway by next weekend that I will just start carrying stuff out there and "dumping" it.
Hopefully I will be able to do this without cringing too much. Some of the stuff is just junky old toys, some of it is decent art supplies, some of it is good stuff. But, I have been struggling for so so so so sooooo long to get a handle on it, that I think I may just need a fresh start.
I know fresh starts worked for me in the past because my family moved around a lot when I was growing up and I also did so as a young adult with my work. My current home is my longest stay at any one place -- about 10 years, so I am hoping that I can do a "moving cleanout" for a fresh start even though I am not moving.
I really want to have friends over without the clutter-junk. I want to do more with my kids and their friends and not feel tied down to a mountain of cleaning. I'd like to host family gatherings once again.
In the past, even recent past, I have donated tons of stuff to Goodwill, St. Vincents, friends, school, neighborhood hand-md-down chains, etc. I think that this time I just need it to go away without sorting and delivering. I don't like the idea of landfill, but am really truely at my wits end. I need my garage and house back as a place to live in, not to "store" things in.
Please encourage me to dump and help me be strong.