Christening Gift Etiquette

cheerful1_gwFebruary 25, 2013

3 different scenarios, all involving family members:

Small christening - not invited

Invited, not attending

Invited, attending

Would you give the same gift in each circumstance. My feeling is, no gift if not invited; small gift if not attending; larger gift if attending. Also, my DH feels if we attend, we should at least give a gift equal to the cost of the meal, plus a little more.

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marry

Family members, I'd send the same gift.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 4:58PM
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redcurls

We never had a meal with any Christening I've attended. Just the ceremony in the church. I'll look forward to seeing if this is the case elsewhere. I've attended them in Florida, Ohio, and Maryland. I never really considered it a "gift-giving" occasion. I have seen cards, though.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 4:58PM
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marry

Family members, I'd send the same gift.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 4:59PM
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cheerful1_gw

I'm in Long Island, New York. Every christening I've gone to had a dinner afterwards, whether in a school gymnasium or a restaurant.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 5:05PM
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marie_ndcal

How close are you to the baby? Grandbaby? maybe a gift, nothing big and fancy, Here no dinner, maybe cookies or bars. Usually just cards.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 6:11PM
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Cynic

For me, it doesn't matter the event. If *I* WANT to give a gift, I give a gift. Doesn't have to be a reason. Sometimes someone needs something or really wants something, maybe I have something or can get a good deal on it - I'll give a gift. I don't give "gifts" out of obligation. They're not gifts then. That's called extortion.

I don't recall dinners after around here. Often an invitation back to the house or coffee/cake in the basement. That's about it.

If I were giving something to pay for the meal, I'd make it cash. Then they can decide whether to put toward expenses or buy something for the kid, or put it into savings for the future. A gift of that value, well that depends on how people value things too.

Don't get shamed into doing something you don't want to do. If you feel right about it, do it. Or don't as the case may be.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 9:06PM
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azzalea

The christenings I've been too have included a dinner afterwards (usually something catered, they're a big deal around this area).

IF it's a catered affair, then I'm with your husband--not that you have to 'pay for your meal' but that's a good guide as to how much to spend.

I'd give all a gift. Probably the same for all, especially if they're of comparable relationship (all grandchildren, for example). I'd feel mean shortchanging the babies just because I couldn't make some of the ceremonies--that's not their fault. And the Mom's DEFINITELY won't understand if the gifts are unequal (people do talk among themselves about this sort of thing)

    Bookmark   February 25, 2013 at 9:38PM
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susanjf_gw

we havn't had christening but dedications and often i gift the child with a special moments bible..or they have received them fo easter...we did have a dinner after a couple of them

    Bookmark   February 26, 2013 at 1:38AM
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dances_in_garden

Here most of the time, Christenings are a family affair in that you would go to the house after for a meal etc. Bigger ones are sometimes held at a hall with a catered or potluck type of meal.

As for a gift, if I am not invited I tend not to send anything. If I am invited and not going, perhaps nothing as well unless they are close family. If I am going, I have a standard christening gift I usually give (A precious moments bible, they come in several versions and are a nice keepsake).

Unlike a wedding, I never considered having to "cover" the cost of my meal. Isn't it about welcoming the baby?

Dances.

    Bookmark   February 26, 2013 at 8:39AM
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jannie

You were invited because the family wishes to share a religious celebration with you. The babies are oblivious. Give what you wish to each, a nice card or a small token or whatever you feel is appropriate. I'm sure the parents won't compare the gifts. If they did, that makes them petty.Don't play games.

    Bookmark   February 26, 2013 at 9:05AM
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