does your family know about your friends?q
here's why I ask:
My oldest friend in NYC--my "New York mom"--died recently. She'd been in the hospital with heart problems, eventually on a mechanical heart and awaiting a transplant, for several months.
I didn't know she was ill until 2 weeks before she died, and I heard not from my "siblings" but from a mutual friend, who herself only found out because she happened to call our friend's apartment when the sister was visiting, and she answered the phone.
Then, the mutual friend wasn't notified by the family about Nancy's death or her funeral; fortunately, I called and told her.
It got me to thinking--would my siblings, husband, children know whom to call? Which folks from my professional life would probably most want to know? Would they know how to find them?
I think it would be hard enough to get through the ordeal yourself without having to notify all the folks in your mom's address book, esp. when doing so might mean you have to admit to yourself your mom could die.
But keeping our address books in good shape would be a good idea.
And for us parents, it's a good idea to teach our kids about the importance of those sorts of notifications. Now that I'm more truly a grownup (it's not complete yet, by any means), I'm realizing "how things work"--the networks we form, etc. And the obligations connected to that.