I really am at a loss and have been unable to sleep. My husband and I have been together for almost eleven years; we met at a work place. At that time I was disappointed that he was not more detail oriented (he worked in the restaurant kitchen and wouldn't sweep/mop under appliances after closing. I thought it was lazy and would do it myself as I couldn't stand not to have it done.) BTW I was not officially his boss then.
We worked various other jobs, sometimes at the same places. In 2003 I opened my own business which is based on commision only. He has worked in my office before but I honestly though he was too lazy and took advantage by surfing the internet most of the day. He came back this Spring when I was unable to find good help & he was sick of his job. He would then tell me when I asked him if he got such & such done that I had not trained him properly on the process and so he did not feel comfortable doing it, so it was not done.
He is not a self starter At All and to be honest, I am only partially one. Now his 11 y.o. son has come to live with us, we have no children (I never wanted any) and we are having discipline issues there. The child has never beent taught properly to use utensils, speak proper english, maintain his own hygiene, etc. It has been a massive challenge right there.
To add to that, my business production has fallen steadily since DH started in the office. It has gotten to the point that we are not making enough to pay all of our bills for the past two months. He just says 'we will have to sell more this month' but doesn't really try and I honestly feel so demotivated I would rather do it myself, at least I know it is done right (Type A.) I am also thinking at least with another employee that I can hire/fire without personal issues.
I tell him that something has to change this month or we won't make it, he says to me 'you make it sound like it is all up to me'. I can't even think what to do or say, I spend most of last night sleepless and worried sick. I have always been controlling about taking care of bills etc, and know can see the effects of that - he has no idea how bad that things really are, no matter what I say. he has never in his life had to deal with the bills by himself, and I don;'t think that he really cares as someone else has always taken care of things for him before.
I am so scared and worried and thinking maybe things will never change. I know that I should never have expected him to be responsible, but now wonder how in the hell I am going to support all three of us for the rest of my life. He knew money was tight and still spent over $400 on a credit card last month. I honestly don't think that consequenses are real to him; they are something that other people deal with. I am thinking about divorcing and getting out of this.
I honestly don't know how to keep going and what to do. I am sick at heart and we are now over $25K in CC debt with no end in sight, as he does not seem to want to get another job.
what do I do? Am I being unreasonable or did I set this up to happen with babying him all through our past relationship? I am at a complete loss.