'sexless marriage.. need help'
I have been married for barely 2 years and I'm miserable. I have known my husband for 4 years now. Pathetic I may be but I'm one of those mail ordered brides from Asia. We had a whirlwind relationship that ended in me getting pregnant. I wanted to break up with him 'coz I didn't want him to stay with me because of the baby but he assured me that he "loved" me so I stayed in the relationship. When we finally got married and when I came here in the US, I found out that he was seeing other girls and was having sex with them during the 2 year "get to know each other" years. I was devastated. During the first months of my stay here, he treated me like crap, threatening that he could have me deported. Ofcourse I was scared coz I didn't want to be separated from my child who's already 2 years old. He lied to me when we were still writing to each other. He does not have a job, he has so many health problems and most of all he has erectyle dysfunction. After we got married, we did not have sex, it took us 3 months before the marriage was consumated. He'd tell me that it's because of the child that it's hard being intimate when there is a child bugging us. He was never sweet to me, never showed that I was special. We did not even have a wedding ring coz he did not want to wear one. He was married once and it really hurt when he used to tell me how he treated his ex wife, sending her flowers, giving her expensive ring, buying her stuff and just doing anything for her. I mean I don't want to sound materialistic but as a woman, I yearn to be treated with gentless and to feel special.
I'm the one working fulltime now. I pay for the bills and now he has medical insurance to pay for medical stuff. I don't know what to do. I want to believe that he loves me but I just don't feel it. We're not sleeping in the same room. He chose to sleep in the sofa coz he wanted me to sleep with our child. I've been trying to tell him about my need and even told him that I resorted in masteurbation but it didn't do it for him. He'd tell me that I have to understand his problem that all the time and that I should not be selfish but there he was, he got addicted into internet porn. He was apologetic when I caught him but again, he demanded that I understand his "struggle".
I don't know what to do... We have not have sex for 7 months. We've only done it 4 times this year and everytime, I don't get any satisfaction. The thing that really hurts me is that he does not want to do anything about it. He saw a Urologist last month but did not ask the doctor if he could prescribe a medication to help him. I'm confused.. He's a very loving father to our child. He can be a nice person to me. He can be affectionate too, throwing hugs and kisses here and there but I want more. I want a marriage. I really do care for him but it fades off everyday. Sometimes I even think of getting a divorce but I don't want to hurt our child who loves him so dearly. Please please help!