Very important Christmas - Need gift ideas for husband

ladiauctioneerDecember 13, 2011

Hello All,

First an explanation:

My husband and I have been going through the tax audit from hell for 3 years. They are taking us to the cleaners. Then my husband's mother became terminally ill. I kept running our business so he could spend the last 3 months with his mother in another state. My husband is a good man under a lot of stress. He saw his mother being cared for with compassion by a nurse. She took advantage of a seriously depressed man. He at one point was suicidal. The stress has been immense on both of us.

I have forgiven him for his affair as my husband, in his right state of mind, would never have done this. We are back together and working through this mess. I don't want to know how I am making excuses for him. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing, so please no advise in this area.

We are, in a way, starting over in our 29 year marriage. I really want to give him something meaningful. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you in advance.

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gardenandcats

Other way around he should be doing the giving something meanfull

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 10:03PM
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mkroopy

How about a reference to a good accountant? Generally speaking the IRS doesn't put people thru tax audits for hell unless there is a good reason.

I'll leave the other part alone ..... something about those nurses though, my ex is one........

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 6:39AM
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ladiauctioneer

In response to the accountant remark, its not the IRS, its the state and not an income tax audit. I have paid a CPA $11k to do a forensic audit on me and according to them the state owes me $4k. This state is going after anything they can get so they won't have a shortfall. They hired 49 new auditors for this. It was a sales tax audit. I was told 20 years ago not to tax on vehicles by the DMV because I an not a dealer. They were wrong. I have to pay the sales tax on all the cars I have sold through my business. I have 11 people I know going through the same thing. The reason it has taken 3 years is they kept asking for extensions because they are short handed.

So thanks but no thanks for your smart a$s comments, you have no clue what you are talking about.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 7:22AM
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mkroopy

Sorry, you have my apologies....it's been my experience through years of working with the IRS as a client and talking to them that most people under audit are grossly evading taxes or altogether not paying them. But of course there are examples where it's not that way, sorry I made that assumption.

But about the nurses....trust me I know what I am talking about there...lol

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 1:00PM
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MissyJo

You are looking for a meaningful Christmas gift - correct?

I suggest giving him a Child's Slate Board (antique or reproduction) Essentially, you are giving him a "do over" for your marriage and giving him another chance. This can symbolize that chance. He has a blank slate to do things right.

Corny as it may sound there is a wonderful quote from Anne of GreenGables that says something like this "tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it" That slate is fresh and clean - no mistakes.

Just a thought

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 1:01PM
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tracystoke

Id get him a boomerang.This can symbolize that what goes around comes around .sorry I know you wanted genuine ideas for a lovely christmas present for your husband, but on here I dont think you will get it .losing his mother and in a mess with money is a pathtic excuse.I have no ideas what you could buy him to prove you have fogiven him and love him,because thats what you want isnt it?like the first person said it should be the other way round .

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 4:14PM
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MissyJo

Have you thought of renewing your vows?

I do hope for your sake that this is an important Christmas for both of you and not just a one sided reconciliation on your part.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 4:55PM
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ladiauctioneer

I appreciate the apology and yes...the nurses are a real treat.

I love the slate idea. In fact, I may use it.

What goes around comes around is not the message I'm trying to send. I truly forgive him and am not making excuses. He is in his own hell on that. I don't need to punish him.

As for the vows, we have decided that we will do that on our 30th wedding anniversary, just him, I and our grown children.

Thank you for your suggestions.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 5:23PM
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suzieque

ladiauctioneer, you sound like a very special person. Your husband is very fortunate, and I suspect he knows that.

Merry Christmas to you both.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 8:08PM
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ladiauctioneer

Thank you Suzie, you are very kind. Merry Christmas to you all.

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 8:48PM
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popi_gw

I like "doing things" as a gift.

Like a short holiday to see a different city, countryside etc.

I recently went to Cairns (I live on Australia), the most fantastic thing was poking my head under the water, on the Great Barrier Reef and seeing all that coral, and tropical fish. Wow - and the best gift of all was that I had my hubbie there doing it with me.

Having happy memories is the best king of gift to me.

    Bookmark   December 15, 2011 at 10:13PM
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