Really bad situation
First time poster:)
A little background...I have a mental illness. I had a complete breakdown and was hospitalized a few years ago. My husband was a rock...he took care of everything, and moved us away from a toxic environment to protect me and the kids.
However, that mean that he was out of work for a bit, and when he did finally find a job it was extremely low paying...lower than since he was 18 and he is almost 50, with a family of 6 to support. The last year, he has gotten several "almost" job offers, even to the point where they tell him he has the job, just give them a couple of days to get the contract together, then...nothing happens. He has become increasingly more despondent, more hostile, and intolerant of the kids doing stupid normal things like teens trying to dress innapropriately or questioning things that I say if I don't say it exactly right.
I KNOW he is under extreme stress. He is currently up for a huge job and they've been taking their sweet time...it has been "hurry up and wait" for over a month...and I want to be as supportive as possible. I try to do nice things for him, welcome him home after work with no problems, ect, but the other morning things got really bad.
14 year old daughter was again trying to sneak out of the house wearing leggings as pants which I HATE. I started questioning her and I admit I'm the one that got mad first. Then he wanted to take her phone...I suggested that isn't the best idea because i need to get a hold of her after school, she had cheer and it was unpredictable. He starts yellling at me, and about many things...some things didn't even make sense. I asked him why he was yellling at me? He kept doing it, and I got up, walked away, and told him that I don't appreciate being talked to like I'm one of the kids and he owed me an apology (by the way, this was all IN FRONT of them). He got up, starting throwing stools around the kitchen, grabbed me by the arm and shoved me accross the hallway into our bedroom, slamming the door and telling me I need to stay in there and "think about it." I opened the door and he did it again, while I'm screaming that he is hurting me and to to let me go. He shoved our 14 year old when she was trying to help me and yelled at our 19 year old and to get the "F" out of the room. Fortunately our boy wasn't home and one daughter shoved the 8 year old into a bathroom so she didn't see.
He said many other things...but long story short, he hasn't really spoken to me since (3 days) and when he does he is snarky. Last night after a shower I realized the extent of what happened...the back of my arm is fully black and blue, huge marks...and I am heartbroken. I think he has reached some kind of limit. He has never done anything like this in the many years we've been together, but I can also tell that he is not sorry he did it. I'm so lost, I don't know what to do. This isn't HIM, but I also can't let that happen again...especially in front of my children. It has been like a cold war here, with him only being nice to the 14 year old boy and the littlest girl. He stood by me so much...I want to help him, but I can't even talk to him at this point.
My father in law, who I did turn to, told me that he finds out one way or the other if he got this job in the next couple of days. I am terrified he didn't, and I doubt he did, because for several years nothing has worked out well for us...what happens then? I am 2500 miles away from ANYONE. Sorry this was so long.