Have you worked through emotional abuse and remained married?
My spouse and I have been in counseling for about 2 months. This is our second or third run through, and we've identified that my experience of him is one of abuse. These are the words the therapist used, likely because they are more neutral. The tough thing about using the word 'abuse' is that it covers the spectrum from what I'm experiencing, where he's picking fights with me as a stress relief, to the very extremes of physical violence. Simply using the word creates additional tension, but since this is how we talk, this is what I get to say. When I reach out and ask for advice, I am often told by numerous people that my choice is to leave, but it doesn't feel right to disrupt my entire family because he has a bad temper and some bad habits. So the other option is to try to get him to see what it's like for me, living with him. It's been rough, but it seems like we're well on our way to recognizing these patterns, and we've even managed to disrupt them a few times. The idea is, I guess, to establish new patterns.
But then there's the matter of "healing and forgiveness," and what I really need just right now is to hear the experiences of people who have chosen the option to rehabilitate and forgive. In particular, all the little ways you kept your moods stable and reminded yourself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I suppose the same is true for divorce -- IMO, these are equally rocky paths. It just seems that in our particular circumstance, these patterns can be reconfigured.
I'm going to guess that anyone visiting this section is seeking the same sort of advice I am, and that everyone who has moved on is not looking back, but maybe some good will come out of just letting it out. Supposedly connecting with people when you are stressed out can reduce the impact of it on your health in major ways.