second marriage

pawprint1December 11, 2003

Is anyone on their second? I divorced in Jan. of this year. Was VERY lucky and met someone new. We are now engaged to be married on August 28th 2004. I'm very excited and happy, but so afraid of making the same mistakes again. I really with all my heart want this one to work, but am not completely over the failure of the first. I don't want to fail again.

Any advice as sometimes the past haunts me!

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I'm on my second (and last) marriage.

My suggestion would be to back off from the marriage date.

When my first marriage failed, I spent about a year just dating a little and hanging out with my friends. I actually met my husband a month after my divorce was final.

I did a lot of personal work, I did some counseling. I found out a lot about myself away from my marriage. I discovered and accepted the role I had played in the failure of my marriage.

DH and I dated for a year before my son even knew he existed. We dated for 3 years before we got engaged. We were engaged for over a year. So I definitely took my time before I got into another committed relationahip.

DH and I went to premarital counseling before we got married to discover and work through any issues we were bringing into the relationship.

Even after all of that, it's been very difficult at times.

I still will go back into old habits and worry about issues I had with my ex. My DH every once in a while will wonder if I've gone temporarily insane.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's difficult at best to go into a second marriage in such a short time after the first one.

Take your time.

There's no rush.

If it's true love he will understand and wait.

Good Luck,

    Bookmark   December 11, 2003 at 11:26PM
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It takes about two years to get over a divorce. I remarried within months and nine years later got out of that mess! I was single, dated various guys, and finally met the man I have now been maried to for 23 years.

I wouldn't rush the remarriage unless you both get some counseling.

    Bookmark   December 13, 2003 at 9:19PM
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