self confidence is gone feels like husband deserves better
I have taken job in a country where we had own house as our relationship was getting worst together. 2 years back I gave up my job and shifted with my husband to my homeland. He was busy setting up a company and our only conversation was about his company. In 15 years of marriage there was not a single day when he does not criticize me. Without noticing he admires his female colleagues on same points and want to share his all office problems with me.
I wanted to feel productive and useful whatever I can as my husband told me that I was a looser recently. I have told him that my work gives me happiness and I want to work where I can get work easily and take care of our daughter better and can have better future for her. He agreed but in his heart he thought that I have left him for my happiness. Before shifting we had even 3 weeks vacation together. Everything was normal.
After he dropped us for my work he started behaving strangely. He became member of social sites and made friendly to females of his age. He became member of sex sites. During chat conversations we had sometimes arguments as I do not accept his incorrect opinions about me. Once he even said that he want to get separated.
He even gave his mobile number to a stranger (later added to Social site as a friend) who was suppose to visit our home country as a backpacker. He gave her an invitation for a drink and even told her that he misses his daughter in an email as that stranger girl was puzzled how we are experiencing long distance marriage.
By moving to another country I thought I was giving him time he needed for his work as much as he wanted to and making myself bit happy. But now I do not know what to think of it. I tell him everything we do or plan for tomorrow and he does not want to do the same.
I feel like I am a looser and he deserves a beautiful, intelligent, fluent English speaking wife he can proud of. Because of the stress I am giving to my husband he has blood pressure and diabetes at lease he is thinking like that. But I still love him and I can not think about second marriage.