2nd Marriage

amylyDecember 30, 2007

I am entering another relationship and thinking of a 2nd marriage. However, I don't know how 2nd marriages work (?) Do people just have a wedding just like any other weddings (with wedding dresses and tuxedos, flowers and bridesmates?) Or would that be too much if that's how I want it to be?? The man I love (my ex-boyfriend) has never been married yet and I was married once with a child of my own.

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I have seen many people in a second marriage have regular weddings(especially if it is the 1st marriage for one of the two). With my dh and I we had a medium sized wedding with flowers, church, dresses, tuxes, etc. It was his 2nd, and my 1st. But his first marriage was when he was very young and it was a court house situation.

    Bookmark   December 30, 2007 at 5:03AM
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You can do anything you want to nowadays..

It sounds like maybe you didn't get your big fancy wedding the first time around and are hoping for it this time???? You also don't mention your age. I think you can get by with a lot more if you are younger than older.

If I ever got married again, (although I'm probably older than you and already had a big fancy wedding) I would keep my second wedding as small as possible unless my fiance really had his heart set on a big wedding. The only problem I could think of that you could run into with having a smaller wedding is dealing with his mother who may be hoping for a big party to 'pay' back all her friend's invitations.

The reason I personally would vote for a smaller wedding the second time around isn't because of the expense, but big weddings are just so very time consuming and IMHO there's just not time to really focus on each other and to really appreciate the vow of marriage itself. So, I would actually find a smaller wedding more intimate and romantic. Hindsight is 20/20.

Then again, do what makes you and your finace happy. It's your day. No one is really going to care what you do or don't do. Go all out and make it the best day of your life -- whatever that means for you!

    Bookmark   December 30, 2007 at 11:08AM
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I think it's up to you to have the type of wedding you and your fiance want. However, when it's a second wedding, you should expect to pay for it yourselves (especially if your parents paid for the first). Of course, if others offer to chip in, that's great. It's your day Have fun.

    Bookmark   December 30, 2007 at 6:48PM
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I am 29. Had been through a disastrous 1st wedding and marriage that I can never forget. It was a very nice wedding where I planned everything almost from A-Z in 3 months.... Until my parents-in-law and their kids came to insult me and my family at the wedding ceremony because their son came to live with me in my state. My ex-husb supported them. The wedding photos that we took on that day were never treasured by my ex-husb (they stayed deteriorated in their original envelopes) and the wedding video was never picked up. I managed to put some photos in a wedding album and enlarged a couple others and framed them but saw how indifferent my ex-husb was - my heart just dropped and I never did anything to the rest (since he didn't care about them either). I long to get married to a man I love who loves me enough to treasure our moments together. I guess the wedding does not have to be so big but I'd like to have a wedding photo frame where I can actually put on our bedroom's dresser so we can both smile at each others everyday we see it before we go to bed. My 1st wedding was all paid by me - neither my parents nor his paid for it.

    Bookmark   December 30, 2007 at 10:11PM
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Don't let my personal tastes sway your wedding size. If you want a bigger wedding, with all the flowers, big gown, and all your friends present... go for it. I hope you get to experience with your new husband what you couldn't with your last one. Everyone should have good memories of their dream wedding, and of course a great picture of it to look at everyday day!

    Bookmark   December 31, 2007 at 12:05AM
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8 years ago I planned exactly the wedding I wanted for my second marriage. My husband had lots of ideas about it as well and we worked together on it. I didn't wear a white wedding dress. I can tell you there are plenty of designer dresses suitable for a wedding that come in any and all colors--mine was a low cut gold lace gown. We had a garden wedding complete with flower girls and bridesmaids. We each had grown daughters who were the bridesmaids.
I adore my husband but I don't know about the wedding photos on the dresser--we have cuter photos of each other taken on trips to either Yosemite or some exotic spot.
I know couples who spent a lot of money on videos and photos of the wedding who are happily married and never look at the photos. So my brother took our photos and we splurged on a trip that was memorable for both of us.

    Bookmark   December 31, 2007 at 5:05PM
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Are you thinking about a second marriage?
Or about a second wedding?

There's a big, big difference, and having been through it before, you know that.
Make sure you keep your focus on the marriage, because that's the important part.

    Bookmark   December 31, 2007 at 9:18PM
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I agree with Sweeby. You can do it simply and it is still lovely. You do have to resist all the vendors who want you to have a wedding that rivals Princess Diana's in cost and scope. Set a budget and do it whatever way you want. Lots of the stuff can be skipped--we didn't have favors and did our own invitations on the computer. We splurged on really good champagne,food & music and served it in our own garden. We were able to have a party the night before the wedding for family and out of town guests. But I went to the flower wholesale district and bought tons of flowers and we made the bouquets and floral stuff ahead. So you decide how much money you want to spend and decide what you want to spend it on. There really isn't a right or wrong way to do it. If you are concerned somebody will be critical--don't invite them.

I went to one wedding where everyone was dressed cowboy style. It was really a cute idea and they served BBQ and baked beans, etc. The guests were told they could dress cowboy style or casual. Somebody taught line dancing at the reception. Actually it was one of the best weddings I went to.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2008 at 9:02PM
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We went to Vegas and got married there !! It was a lot of fun and it was us two and our son (mine from a first marriage but really ours since my husband has been in his life since he was 2 and he calls him Daddy). He was 5 years old and gave me away !! This year we are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary (together almost 10). We had a wonderful time, the hotels have child care for special times and there are lots of things to do for kids, believe it or not !!

Something to think about !!
Much happiness to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bookmark   January 31, 2008 at 11:13AM
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My coleague had a wedding on halloween, guests were supposed to be dressed up in costumes and everything was decorated halloween style. definitelly not somehting people will easily forget. i don't know if I will ever remarry but if I will, i will do something fun

    Bookmark   January 31, 2008 at 11:10PM
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