Where do I begin? I have been married to my wife for ten years and prior to that I have been with her another ten years so in total I have been with her for twenty years. I have been in this union since 1991 but I was never really in love with her. It started out as a dinner date and we ended up in bed. And I will never forget the words she said to me that night when she said "Please dont leave me" And thats where I made the biggest mistake in my life and that was that I felt sorry for her and I never left. I always knew that it would not last because I found myself seeing other women and still she took me back. My wife is nine years older then I and never had any children with her. However, I did help raise one and now her children's kids call me grandpa and I love them dearly and that is a beautiful feeling. But my Delima remains. I know she has that intuition that I am not happy but I don't want to break her heart on top of that she has no income has not worked in God knows how long because she takes care of her grand daughter. I am her only source of income as well as health coverage. She is now sixty and I am fifty-one. I don't really have sexual relations with her and I'm attracted to a co-worker but never had relations with her because she says it was done to her so she respects my wife. Can someone understand where I'm coming from or maybe I'm just not making any sence.