SIL problems...very long.
this has really bothered me for a long time. i dont think this forum will do anything but give me a place to rant and share my feelings. but my sister in law is a total loser and takes complete advantage of my husband's generosity. i know she has alot of problems, but sometimes i get really upset about her problems and how much they cost us and her parents financially.
shortly before we were married a little over 3 years ago, my husbands sister was going through a nasty divorce (abusive alcoholic husband). during the divorce she lost her job and almost didnt go through with it because she said she couldnt afford the attorney and live on her own without her job. my husband (fiance at the time) & I agreed to offer her to live in his house until she got back on her feet. After we were married, he moved into my house and she moved into his old house. For the first year my husband continued to pay all of the utilities and she never paid us a dime. after the first year, my husband told her she needed to take over the utilities and start paying rent. which she agreed. the bills were changed into her name. we never saw any rent money. since that time, she got a puppy which is not potty trained and the house smells like pee and poo - awful. she has paid us rent twice - and only half the amount that was agreed to. before she moved in, my husband had the entire house recarpeted so it would be nice for her. which of course is all totally ruined. when i tell my husband that he is no longer helping her but he is enabling her - he gets angry and tells me i am selfish. that we are not hurting for money and she needs the help. and he thinks that if he kicks her out she would loose her kid and may even commit suicide.
its also worse - for a long time i didnt bother me that much because i thought well at least we are saving his parents alot of stress by helping her. then i found out they are paying her car payments, her car insurance and she has a gas card and department store card that they are paying for. and they often buy groceries so her son has food to eat. they are both retired and on a fixed income and she is sucking them dry. that is when i really got pissed. she is getting rent free from us and her parents are paying everything else. damn how much crap can this woman be sucking... she is working part time - at Walmart but its not near the income she used to have as a layout editor at a national magazine. i think she is either doing drugs or gambling or just a complete loser... how can she need so much money from her parents if she is not paying any rent.
and it gets worse - a loser low life unemployed boyfriend moved in with her about a year after she moved in. and it gets worse - we got a call from the electric company saying that she owed around $1,000 in unpaid utility bills and that because we were the property owner they had to notify us before they disconnected her service. of course my husband bailed her out so she would have power.
she recently paid us around $100 for monthly rent that my husband felt guilty for taking. and this is a three bedroom house w/ full basement, washer, dryer in a nice neighborhood.
i want to think that i am a generous person and would like to feel good about being to help out his sister but i cannot help feeling angry, i cannot help feeling like she is taking my husband for a fool, and feeling like the whole family is enabling her to live the life of loser...
we are not poor but we are not overly wealthy either....the living room in our new house sits unfurnished because i dont want to finance anything while my husband has this other in house such a quagmire. we are going to be needing to purchase a new vehicle next year and i cannot help but think about how we could've use the three years of rent money to buy a car. i do know that we will never get any past rent. but i wonder how long can we let this go on and how can my husband stop being taking advantage of without feeling guilty.