Trying to save my marriage...Advice?
Sorry for this being long, but I have to explain what happen, my wife and I are 36 and have 2 kids 11 and 6, we have been married for 13 years this month.
19 months ago, April 4th, 2006. I had an issue with our primary vehicle that required $4800.00 in repairs, none of which were covered under our warranty. I did not have the money at that time and in order for me to get back and forth to work, I needed my car. I asked my parents for a loan but they only had $1000.00 that they could give me at that time. So in an effort to get that money in a short period of time, I called my mortgage company, Country Wide, and asked them if I could delay 2 monthly payments to the end of my mortgage, to help with the cost of repairs. They said that the situation that I was in was acceptable and allowed me to do what was requested.
Forward 3 months, July 15th 2006, I call my mortgage company on the phone to pay my current months loan. The person on the phone tells me that I am in default on my loan and will require all 3 months at this time to become current. I explain what had been setup on the phone 3 months earlier, and to my surprise, nothing was found under my account that any type of arraignment had been made and there was nothing that anyone could do because my account was in default. I asked them if there was any kind of repayment plan that I could do over a period of time to bring my loan current. They tell me that they will have to get back to me after they talk to the collections department.
August 18th 2006 I get a package in the mail from Country Wide with a repayment offer of $1981.23 a month for 6 months, which included closing costs, late feeÂs, the current default amount, and original loan payment of $700.00. At that time I could not afford their terms. I contact Country Wide and explain that I cannot afford their terms and asked for another plan. Again, they tell me that they will have to get with the collections department and will get back to me.
In the mean time I retain a lawyer and consult with him as to the situation. He informs me that he will contact Country Wide and see what he can do to help me. Approximately 3 days later I get a call from him and he informs me that Country Wide has set up a new repayment plan of $896.92 per month for 1 year, beginning September 1st 2006. Country Wide sends me the required paper work for me to sign and send back to them. Which was done.
On September 1st 2006, I call and make my scheduled $896.92 monthly payment and everything has been resolvedÂor so I thought it was. On January 1st 2007, my wife and I receive a letter in the mail from a law firm that states that our home will be auctioned off at the Wake County court house on February 21st 2007. I contact my attorney and fax him the letter. He tells me that he is going to take care of it and that this will be handled. That same day he informs me there is a required form in our repayment package that was not signed and in order for us to resolve the situation I need to sign it and send it back, which of course I did.
Everything was going smoothly and I was making my monthly house payments according to the agreed plan, until August 1st 2007. My wife and I both receive another letter from the same attorney firm from before, stating that yet again they will be auctioning off our home at the Wake County Court house on September 19th, 2007. This time I bypass my attorney and contact the firm on the letter. They inform me that because this was an original Veterans Administration home loan, Country wide had sold back the loan to the VA, back in July, and now the VA was selling the home to recoup their losses. I contact the VA and ask for a more detailed explanation.
According to their records, there was no repayment plan ever put in place on our account and as of April 16th 2006, we had not made a single house payment on our home. I inform the VA that this is simply not true and have bank transaction receipts of payments made to Country Wide as of September 1st, 2007. I fax over these statements and repayment plan paper work to the VA and they tell me that they will look into it, and get back to me. 1 week goes by and I have not heard from them, so I call to find out the status of our situation. No one at the VA has any information on my situation. They promise to look into it and call me back the same day. They never do.
On Monday September 17th, 2007, I contact the VA again and ask them for an update. Again, no one has any info other than our home is to be foreclosed on October 17th, 2007. 30 days from that day.
I take it upon myself to try and get another mortgage company to by the loan from the VA and remove my loan from the VA. I attempt to get another mortgage company to buy the loan; no one will finance me because I have "Foreclosure" on my credit report. I get a private third party investor that is willing to buy the loan from the VA and allow me to make payments to him and eliminate this nightmare. In the state of North Carolina, once a home has been deemed "Foreclosure", it cannot be sold until it has been foreclosed and put back on the market, 60 to 90 days from eviction.
October 12th 2007 I get a letter in the mail stating that on October 17th 2007 I will be evicted at 2:15 pm. I again contact the firm on October 15th 2007, that is pursuing this foreclosure and get an email stating the following: On October 17th 2007, We will be at your home at 2:15 pm to change the locks on the home and evict the current occupants.
Here is the biggest issue to my wife:
That morning is the very first time I inform my wife of the issue of our home. I inform her that we are going to be evicted and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. My wife is understandably furious and begins packing the kids and her things to move into her motherÂsÂwithout me. I try to explain what had happen, but she is not hearing anything of what I am saying and as of October 17th 2007, I have not seen my wife. I have talked to her briefly on the phone but that is it. She is blaming me for this and will not hear otherwise. Try as I may, she is very angry over the situation and refuses to listen. I know that I should have told her what was going on, but I trying to not make her worry, or fear of what was happening now.
I have done the flowers, apologized,letters, cards, to my wife but she told me yesterday that she is getting a separation agreement drafted up, and told me the attorneys name. I love my wife more than anything and yes I have told her this repeatedly. I do not know what I would do with out her in my life. I miss her terribly and when I do get to talk to her, which is not very often, I get very depressed and cry. It is very hard for me to write this without getting emotional. I have never really attended church, but I have been praying ever night to give her the strength to forgive me and allow us to work this out. I started going back to our marriage counselor the 2nd week this happened, My wife will not attend with me so I am alone on this journey from hell.
One more thing that I need to add, 11 years ago we were evicted from an apartment because we were always late with our rent...they would not renew our lease, but I was young and naive and I did not think that they would actually do it, because they needed renters. This current home situation was not my fault, and I thought that I could do this by myself, and take care of out situation...I obviously could not. I know that I lost trust in my wife for not telling her, but I see that now and should have told her.
What do I do, I need some advice, do I leave her alone and not ask her to forgive me and come back? I have promise her that I can change and will change because I need her in my life. I will do anything to get her back.
Thanks in advance for any and all advice.