So how often are YOU doing it??

njrealtorNovember 13, 2007

I am trying to work out of there is any such thing as a 'normal' sex life in marriage/ long term relationship.

I've read a bunch of threads where people are having very little sex, but how much is everyone else having and how does it fluctuate based on how long you've been together?

DH and I are in our 30s and have been married for 5 years. We have sex once or twice a week. I think I would like to do it more, but I think it's more the 'idea' of doing it more, not the practise. I get so tired during the week. lol

DH doesn't encourage any more often than that, but I am pretty sure that if I initiated it, we would do it more often, but I want HIM to initiate more.

Is everyone else doing it every night? Are we already behind the curve. We don't have kids yet, so should we be doing it more?

Anyone else willing to share??

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Your answers will be meaningless. All that matters is you and yours. Believe your anxiety is misplaced.

    Bookmark   November 13, 2007 at 6:11PM
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No anxiety - just interested in what is going on out there, and if there is anything that can be defined as 'normal'.

I think it's an interesting subject.

    Bookmark   November 13, 2007 at 7:10PM
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That question is a little too personal for me...but I have a sex addict bi-polar friend who does it like 3 times a day.

As asolo said, our answers really mean nothing. But, if you really want to get the national average, I'm sure you could do a goggle search for it. A lot of the people here are not in healthy relationships to begin with. And, everyone's situation is just so different. It really doesn't matter how much anyone else is having sex.

It sounds like you want more sex for your relationship; so talk to your husband, or start the ball rolling yourself.

    Bookmark   November 13, 2007 at 7:14PM
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Actually there is a system you can try.A psychologist once suggested that if you avoid sex for a while, don't bring up the subject, look attractive, wear perfume, but act like it never ocurred to you, you will discover what your husband's comfort level is. It may be twice a week, or once a week. Then you switch to the opposite, which is be really sexy & push it, and you will find out what level he is uncomfortable with. At the same time, you can find out about yourself. Everyone is different, and sometimes (like vacations) its more often. However, studies show that couples don't agree on how often they do have sex. Usually the person who is less interested thinks its oftener than the other one does. You can also quietly track this on a calendar and see how often it really is and if there is any correlation with work or other obligations.
Generally the person who is less interested seems more desireable --so learn to be a little more worth chasing, and never complain about how often, etc. Its supposed to be fun. If it isn't fun and wonderful--who would want to do it oftener?

    Bookmark   November 16, 2007 at 9:01PM
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Depends on the weather! He plays golf.

    Bookmark   November 17, 2007 at 10:24PM
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