substance abuse issue
Well i am not married, but there is no other forum where I can ask this. So i hope for some advice.
I have a BF for a bit over a year. We love each other and have a lot of fun together, we are emotionally close and do not have any major issues with the exception of one...(to be continued). It is honestly the best realtionship i ever had. He is recently (take a note of it) divorced with two grown daughters. He had ugly divorce and long ugly marriage involving her affairs, her being workachoholic and uninvolved mother (she is uninvolved mother to her grown daughters now, I see it)
When we first met, I noticed that he consumes more alchoholic beverages than i find normal. But i had to keep in mind that majority of people I observe consume way more alchohol than my family or my friends, so i tried not to judge based on my experience. As we started to get closer and our relationship started to get closer and we started to spend more time together he either started to drink more or I just finally started noticing it. He expressed his fear of our relationship getting very close and i suspect he is not ready for any kind of commitment. I suspect that his drinking is his way to keep me at distance. I shared that with my therapist and she agrees.
After few months of arguing and me being constantly upset he started admiting that he does drink too much and he is trying to stop. He asked me to give more time. I do not see any improvement. He is professional who takes care of his house and his children, he has never been in any problems. He lost a lot of money in a divorce but other than that he does well financially. So he is not a bum.
He is a good man who is nice with the exception of times when he drinks too much. It is the best relationship i ever had, and I have tremendous trouble breaking a relationship.
Does anyone else have any experience with substance abuse? What are my hopes with him stop drinking? Should i run now or do i have hope?
I come from a good family (not perfrect though) and substance abuse does not fit into my life style. Plus I find it disrespectful and disgusting. it breaks my heart because other than that I can't think of anything wrong with him or our relationship. But I guess alchohol abuse is bad enough ...
thanks for reading...