Im being abused
My husband is a verbal and emotional abuser. Just last night I was changing in the bathroom and I heard him say to our 3 year old to open the door. I quickly locked because i do not want my little one to see me nude and also because i don't want to hear later that I'm fat and disgusting (even when others seem to find me attractive). He got so angry and called me the C word. Then he brought up that that morning I asked him why he had a spanish newspaper in his car (something I found amusing so I brought it up since he does not speak spanish). He says i'm always askig him what he is doing, which is not true. He is addicted to porn and looks at really gross stuff and he does things behind my back, so he gets defensive because of guilt. He does not cheat on me, I believe, but his actions online are strange. I'm tired, worn out, wasted, sad, unhappy and worst of all, short tempered with my children, especially my 10 year old. He controls the money, I don't drive nor can I learn because he yells at me and he won't give me money for driving school. I live over two hours away from my family. Sometimes I think it would be better if i just died. What can I do? How can I help him change? I'm tired of walking on eggshells all the time and I really think he's got a mental problem.