What does 'support and love' on the bride's big day REALLY mean?
I hope you can answer this email. This is really a heart-wrenching decision that has to be made fairly quickly.
I am strapped for money to go to my nieces wedding in December in Las Vegas. Christmas and New Years are the most expensive time of the year to have to get a hotel in Las Vegas. Plus there are the other expenses of a car rental, 2 airline tickets to purchase, restaurants, and entertaining my 11 year old boy who would come with me. Add that to the fact that my husband has not worked for the last 1 Â½ years and we have big debts. I got a new credit card just so I could go to the wedding and will stretch to use it if I feel that will make a difference in my nieceÂs happiness on her wedding day.
SO HERE IS THE QUESTION: I am wondering what it means when people say the guests are coming to "support" the bride by attending a wedding. With all the whirllwind activity that the bride and groom go through preparing for the walk down the aisle the day before and the day of, I just donÂt see how a guest can "support" a bride and groom if they are not even going to have a chance to talk to either myself or my son. I honestly donÂt remember everyone that came to my weddingÂjust a select few. BUT, what I did do isÂI rented 2 hotel rooms the night before so that the girls in my immediate family (my mom, sisters, close cousin) and my best girlfriends could stay in the room with me. I am sure if any of my aunts could have come I would have wanted them to stay in the room with me. We had a wonderful girls night (not a bachelorette party). I just wanted to surround myself with my loved ones. The next morning they were right there with me as the hairdresser did my hair and makeup. They helped me get dressed. It was all very exciting and very loving. (We rented another room for my fiancÃ© and his loved ones plus a couple of my favorite male family members.) No one close to me was left out.
In my case, I am flying in 2 days before the wedding. I have been told to get a hotel room for those 2 nights because, according to my sister, "we are trying to keep it very calm at home". This means the bride wonÂt even see me, her aunt, before or during (and certainly not after) the weddingÂexcept may be at the reception line and across the room at a table after we say "Hello, hunny, you look beautiful". So what is the point? I can understand if we had time to visit and also if I could be a part of helping her during the days before the weddingÂbut that isnÂt part of their plan. She has girlfriends flying in from all over the country that she wants to spend time with. More than anything, I want her to be happy with her new husband and life. I DO want her to have a beautiful memorable wedding. But does that include probably a barely noticeableÂand certainly extremely shortÂappearance from any family member that is not in her immediate family who LIVES with herÂand who is not in the pre-wedding preparations? (ie. In this case only her mother, father and sister)
Please help me understand what "supporting the bride on her big day" means. How can I make the bride happy if there is no time in the schedule to spend with her?