Going from a Happy Moment to a Sad one.

klw1988October 12, 2013

Hello everyone,

This is my first post here. I am married to a wonderful man and we just found out we are pregnant with out first child. Shortly after finding out, my mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital for having a stroke. Now, my mother-in-law's health is and has been very poor for a long time. While at home, my husband got a call from his sister stating that we need to be at the hospital Monday morning because his mother's doctor wanted to talk to us. They are saying she only has about 3 months to live. I am trying to hold strong for my husband and my in laws but I keep getting upset because I know that my children will never know their grandmother. I would love advice on how to handle the stress of this and the stress of being pregnant at the same time and also some advice on how i can tell my child when they are born and grow up about there grandmother.

Thank you, Kelli

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Well Kelli, life sure is a roller coaster for you at this time.

I would say to you look for the "honey".

I have struggled through a lot of sadness in my life and I can honestly say, that saying that little mantra to myself has helped me a great deal.

It has allowed me to focus on the good things, which are there in any situation - it just takes great skill in finding them. And lets face it, we are very capable women who can hold our heads high and deal with life and death, and come out of it all with joy in our hearts.

I know you mother-in-law being ill is really horrible, but you have a gift - the little baby growing inside of you and that will bring you so much sunshine and joy.

When my mother died -- in amongst the sadness of loosing her, I saw my children (they were 5 and 10) at the time, as these wonderful joyous beings, who brought sunshine into my life. I realized that they were the future and my purpose was to look after them and guide them into adulthood.

Your children will learn about their grandmother through your husbands family stories, and they will be good times.

But - really- children have this great capacity to live in the moment and they are quite self centred so they will survive without a grand mother.

You place now, is to be supportive of your husband and his family - but you can focus on your future with your baby at the same time.

I think I have prattled on too much !

Take care

    Bookmark   October 13, 2013 at 2:18AM
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Prayers for you.

I know this is a stressful time, but you have to make sure you are taking care of yourself. Stay healthy, exercise and eat right. Very important for you and your baby.

Second, it is sad, but be sure to talk to your mother in law and ask the things, and say the things that you won't be able to talk about later on when she's gone. You will cherish those memories forever, and you should consider it a blessing that you have the opportunity to say goodbye. While it's not easy, some people don't have that opportunity. Cherish it, and when the time comes it will bring you peace and give you the closure that you need. And write down all those things that you talked about and share that journal with your children when they are old enough to understand.

Saying a prayer for you and your family.

    Bookmark   October 15, 2013 at 10:28PM
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