Emotionless wife! Help!
My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 12. We have two children ages 9 and 7. I love my wife dearly and she says she loves me. My wife puts ALL of her time and energy into other things (mostly the kids), and none into me or the marriage. Additionally, she shows VERy little emotion or affection toward me such as hugging, touching, kissing, etc., except we do kiss good morning and good night. We do have sex on occasion, but it is quick, because she sleeps with the kids so we have to do it during the day when the kids aren't calling for her (if they do she up and runs).
I am very romantic and I need intamacy. I want contact. I want hugs and kisses and to sleep together. I want to go away for weekends, which she won't do. I want to hold her hand on occasion, or just come up behind her and wrap my arms around her for just a few seconds. I have offered, for years, to give her massages, neck rubs (sorta the same thing) foot rubs, brush her hair, tickle her back, or ANYTHING that just feels good, WITHOUT it leading to sex.
I understand that we are a married couple that has been together for 15 years total. We are fortunate that we are both in very good shape and fairly attractive (others opinions). I am VERY attracted to her, and she says the same. I am not asking for excessive contact, I am asking for ANY contact.
She will give our kids, and even the dog, hugs and kisses, but not me. I will ask her 'do you want a divorce or do you want someone else?' and she always says no. I have asked for years what she wants and her answer is always the same - "for everything to stay the same".
I can't have it stay the same, I'm going crazy. We've talked about it to death. We started therapy and it made ir worse. What can I do?