It's time to get out ...
Hi all! I posted on here about the sexless marriage I've been in for 5+ yrs. I've known for a long time I needed to get out of this relationship, but had no idea what I was waiting for ... well we went out for a few days with friends (husband-wife) and they wanted to check out a topless bar, we decided to drop in there, after 30 min or so we ladies got bored and the guys said to go back to the hotel and they'd be back in some time. Trusting them, we went off, but after 3 hrs I got worried about the guys (honestly, I thought somebody drugged them and took away their money and dumped them somewhere) so we went back and saw the guys sitting on the very sofa with two of the dancers feeling them up. The guys spent about $800 there.
The holiday was botched, and to add insult to injury my husband said he enjoyed it, he did nothing wrong, liked it bcoz his wife doesn't let him touch her anymore. To me it was a tight slap in the face LOL. He also said he didn't care whether I stayed with him or left. He said it wasn't a big deal, we were on holiday, it was his first experience of the kind - I said it could've been my first experience with a guy, and would you have liked it? The answer was an emphatic NO!
Anyway, I now know I need to get out of this relationship, and fast. I might not tell him my decision right away, but I'll get away for some time and then make the final move.
He is in India at the moment and calls me up twice/thrice everyday and talks as if nothing's wrong, and even though I don't reply, he keeps chatting on ... probably wanting to show his family everything's OK. I told his sister what happened and she said I shouldn't have trusted him in such a place. I told her to me he is an asexual being, so I never thought for a moment that he could do that while he has rejected me all the time. She said to divorce him, why was I with him for so long, etc, and basically wouldn't let me talk, wouldn't listen to what I was saying, so I disconnected the phone. She too put a lot of pressure on me when I didn't want to get married to her brother, also said that if anything went wrong, she wud be there for me, and when things did go wrong in the past, she said it's your problem, u have to handle it now.
I told her this time that her brother called me a whore when I was with a group of friends enjoying an evening out at the disc .. he was there with us, I don't know what happened to him but he called me a whore as we sat in the care to return home. I told his sister maybe he likes 'that' kind of women, that's why he had such a problem getting close to me.
Now the thing is, if I don't stay occupied for even 2 minutes, that scene flashes in front of my eyes - he and that dancer sitting with their arms around each others' necks and doing all that stuff ... he never sat that way with me, never spoke that way to me ..... I honestly don't know how to behave when he returns from India. The hurt is too much, and I'm sick n tired of crying, but I'll have to wait until he gets back - there's no one now to take care of our cats.
Thank you to all who responded to my previous posts. I know I had to make a decision soon, and this seems to be the catalyst. It's nice to know it'll be over with, but the hurt ... that doesn't go away.