Marriage lacks intimacy - I'm lonely, hurt and frustrated
I am really grateful for finding this forum. I can see by other posts that I'm not alone. I do need advice though.
My husband's sex drive has been non-existent since we met 9 years ago. I have a very healthy, normal sex drive so as you can imagine this has been a source of frustration and pain for me, but after struggling with this for years I finally accepted the fact that I must live like a nun. The bottom line is I love my husband dearly.
Over the past several years however he has been pulling away from me. Recently he told me he needed more time alone. He works crazy 12 hour shifts and is very seldom at home. I'm alone as much as 5 days / nights a week. I go to bed alone. When I awake, he is sleeping. He gets up and gets ready for work and is gone again. It's like being married to a shadow.
I am an emotionally-articulate, dynamic, vibrant and passionate woman, whereas my husband is muted, even-keeled and guarded. I think I tire him out. But it's so frustrating being married to someone who doesn't communicate with me unless it's about work or sports. I want real intimacy but I don't know how to bridge the gap between us.
Lately I've been all but ignoring him (at his request) and he's more attentive than he's been in years. I hate this though. I feel like I'm playing games. I cry myself to sleep every night. I'm so tired and sad, and I don't know where to turn. Any ideas?