Husband turned on by my kissing another guy--HELP

mas1724October 24, 2008

My husband and I were talking the other day and being totally honest with each other. I told him I had kissed and "made-out" (no sex) with another guy in the last couple of months. That this guy made me feel special, sexy, beautiful. All the things I am not getting at home from him. He was to busy flirting with my friend which I knew about. When I told him, he kept asking more questions. I asked if he was made and he said no. He made the comment that he thinks he should be jealous but he is actually turned on. Talking more about it, he is telling me I can keeping doing it (I have stopped talking to the guy) as long as I tell him about it. I feel hurt. Not sure what to think of the whole situation.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
silversword

I think you have a serious question to ask yourself: do you believe monogamy is right for you?

Second, diseases. Are you confident that neither of you will bring home a disease? If he's too busy to notice you kissing another guy because he's flirting with your "friend" (!!! WTF, I don't have enemies like that!!!) then he's probably too distracted to notice other things.

Why do you feel hurt? Because he's not jealous? Are you jealous? Is this the kind of relationship you want?

BE VERY VERY CAREFUL. Make sure you know what you want before you go any further down this road.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2008 at 1:20PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
carla35

This is one of the oddest posts ever on this forum. I can imagine open marriages, but you weren't doing it with that agreement in mind. He should be livid. My logical guess, he's having an affair and wants you to be the one to end it or wants to be able to blame you or have permission to fool around himself. Could he really be upset but be playing a game with you by acting like he's not hurt and giving permission so that you don't want to cheat? Seriously, I bet if you hadn't already decided to stop the 'affair', you would have after this conversation.

Why did you kiss another guy? Odd as his reaction is, that doesn't really excuse or negate what you did. You cheated on your husband. So, don't lose sight of that. I think there just layers of stuff going on here.

So, how did you response to his reaction? I would have laughed in his face and added something about keeping my future affairs to myself. You guys really should talk to someone.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2008 at 2:38PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
texaswoman

Sounds like he doesn't really love you and is just turned on by hearing about "other people" making out.

You're making out with another guy and he's flirting (and probably more) with another girl. Do you really love each other and want an open marriage or just waiting to see who files for divorce first???

    Bookmark   October 24, 2008 at 5:21PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
scarlett2001

How old are you two?

    Bookmark   October 24, 2008 at 7:17PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
marge727

How come whenever we have a bizarre post--they just joined.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2008 at 11:14PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
suzieque

There are lots of guys out there that are turned on by fantasizing or literally watching their wives with someone else. I think it's weird and bizaare. A man turned on by someone he loves being engaged in an intimate act with another man? Yup - not for me. However, they're out there.

Your man likes to fantasize about you being with another man. If it works for both of you, Ok (in other words, ifyou enjoy turning him on in that way). But it's a totally different story if you're with another guy because of something that's missing in your own marriage.

First, figure out what it is. Then decide what you are comfortable with.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2008 at 11:37PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Asexual guy
I have a question with this, but first let me explain...
TyC113
how my husband requests sex
whenever my husband asks for sex, he first requests...
sam8th
Cheating Husband
I met my husband 23 years ago. We married 1.5 years...
The-Good-Wife
"Friend" Marriage
I have been looking up posts for months that relate...
TCope5824
Fight every time I have work/interview
What is the psychology behind this? We have both been...
theturtlelady
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™