I spoke to a collegue of mine (who I'd liked for ages) for the first time at the very beginning of the year and we immediately clicked. We get on so well and have become quite good friends. I go for lunch with him and a few others quite regularly and we do nothing but laugh!
Anyway, I now have very strong feelings for him but the problem is he is engaged to be married. We had a night out in march and we kissed when we were drunk and we both agreed we liked each other. I told him how I felt but we agreed things couldn't go further because he is getting married. From what I've heard him say and others say I don't think he is totally happy with the girl he is with and a couple of people think he won't go through with the wedding. Everytime I see him I get butterflies in my stomach and I get so nervous I cannot talk. He loves to take the mickey out of me and he gives me the most sexiest looks ever.
Then last weekend we were texting while we were out drinking (seperately) and he invited me to join him. I told him that if he wanted me as badly as I want him, he would come to where I was and the next thing I knew he was in a taxi on his way. Anyway, we had a great night and kissed again. It is clear there is an attraction both ways but he said it could only ever be a one night stand for him but he couldn't do that to me as he cares too much for me so we didn't go any further and again we agreed to stay friends. The thing is, I feel so strongly for him and I know I always will. The attraction is always going to be there. He is one of my greatest friends and I don't want to lose that. The fact he is getting married is so hard. Everytime I see him I just want to hol him. He knows how much he means to me. I don't want to feel this way about him anymore as the fact nothing is ever going to happen is starting to really hurt me. I've never felt this way before, please help. How can I see him as just a friend without longing for more?? I don't want to steal anyones man and I can't not go to lunch with him and the others because my other friendships will suffer. I just want to see him and be friends with him and nothing more, please help.