i honestly never thought that i would be seeking marriage advice after only a month of marriage. but here's the long and short of it.
My husband and I love each other very much. We went through SO much to be together not the least of which was maintaining a trans-Atlantic relationship for 2.5 yrs. Now that we are married, things are just...not as i expected i guess. My husband has a VERY difficult time communicating about anything other than day-to-day activities. and i am exactly the opposite, i am always talking about how i feel. I have such a desire to be a good wife. I want to do everything perfectly, i truly want my husband to be happy and content and taken care of at all times. I do little things for him every day to make him feel special and loved and looked after but i just feel as if he's not happy. He doesn't have a work permit yet (not a u.s. citizen or legal resident yet) so he is stuck all day in our tiny condo with nothing to do. he has no motivation, no drive, no purpose. just watches youtube and sports center all day long. if i suggest we do something together he gets exasperated with me and won't cooperate. if i try to talk to him about how he is feeling he just says "what do you want me to say?" or if i ask him what he wants to do he says "whatever you want". then, he complains that we only get to do the things that I want to do and he feels like he has no control over anything in our relationship. i'm so frustrated because i TRY so hard to please him and he continually feels like i call all of the shots. I've tried to explain to him that I am not a mind reader and if he does not tell me how he feels or what he wants to do i have to just guess. and i am usually wrong.
our sex life is boring as well and that causes me no end of pain and misery. I know he's bored, he knows i'm bored but when i ask him he's just like "stop being so sensitive, it isn't the end of the world". but it IS TO ME!! i don't want him to be unhappy or unfulfilled. I just keep thinking to myself "i bet he wishes he had never married me". i feel like a failure.