In touch with first love after 15 yrs ...
Hello! I posted before on the sexless marriage that I'm currently in. I know I need to get out of it but at the moment have decided to let things be as they are. I honestly don't know what I'm waiting for.
Anyway, I spoke to my first love after a gap of 15 years (some common friends decided to re-unite the class of 1992), and he said that his marriage wasn't working out, that they might split soon. And I said we were sailing in the same boat. Neither gave details. And yesterday he said 'Let's make a deal, if we end up single again, we'll get married to each other' -- I found it kiddish to even think about that when the current relationship is going the way it is ... but I laughed it off, didn't answer him.
He said everyone deserves a second chance, and we didn't even get a first. Which is true. We were 17 when we fell in love, the families objected and the kind of idiot that I am, I got scared and decided it was best to let go (lots of other problems in the family going on at that time, Dad with heart problems etc) This sort of thing happens in many Indian families.
It's amazing that I should still feel this way about him; I'm sure it's not just because of the relationship I am currently in, but I've decided to wait it out and just see what happens.
This guy visits the US frequently on business - but for now I said it's better not to meet.
Do you think I'm a bad person for doing this? I know this isn't an affair, no lovey-dovey text messages, no words of endearment when we talk, it's just like a close friendship - and not close enough to tell the actual problem either!
Funny how I sometimes feel I shouldn't be doing this ... and DH doesn't show a bit of remorse for/interest in what's been going on at home for years.
I know this is the only place I could talk about this. Thank you everyone for being there for me.